Okay even though my brother takes credit for these all by him self I did help him, alot so out of my brother's and my mind here are the up to now un finished Horror movie review page
go back to the main weirdness directory @.......
ALLIGATOR---3---This is a fun film about a giant alligator duking it out with a cop(Robert Foster). The film is good fun, and it's loaded with humor. Make sure you read the graffitit on the walls in the background. Cast:Robert Foster, Micheal Gazzo, Robin Riker, Perry lang,Jack Carter. Director: Lewis Teague.
ALONE IN THE DARK---1--- Despite the presence of film stars Jack Palance and Donald Pleasence, this movie really sucks. The film features a group of mental cases escaping from thier current home and terrorizing thier doctor and his family. I say you avoid it. But it's your money. Cast: Jack Palance,Donald Pleasence,Martain Landau,Dwight Schultz. Director: Jack Sholder.
AMERICAN GOTHIC---3--- This is a movie that has little blood, and tons of creepyness and characterization. It has a group of friends crash landing on an island inhabited by Ma and Pa(Rod Stieger and Yvonne De Carlo) and thier kids(who look like they're 40,but they act and dress like kids. Pretty strange,huh?),who delight on killing the visitors one-by-one. Too bad it kind of gets a little too weird and basically retarded by the ending. Cast:Rod Steiger,Yvonne De Carlo,Micheal J.Pollard. Director: John Hough
AMITTYVILLE HORROR,THE---1---This film is BORING! It really sucks cheese! Man this film is bad. It was supposedly based on an actual event, but if the even was as boring as the film, I'm sure it was a horrible experience. Read a book instead. Cast: James Brolin, Margot Kidder, Rod Steiger. Director: Stuart Rosenberg.
AMITYVILLE CURSE,THE---2--- Those of you who saw the first film, forget about it. This one is better,but not by much. It has a group of freinds moving into the house of hell. The plot thickens when one of the friends,who happens to be a psychic, struggles to save her friends from the demons who share the horrible homestead. Cast: Kim Coates Director:Tom Berry.
AMITYVILLE 1992: IT'S ABOUT TIME---2--- This one is chalk fullof special effects, but it lacks alot of suspense. It features a clock putting a surburban family through hell(what do you expect from a clock that came from the house of hell?). It's not bad. I've seen a helluva lot worse. Cast:Stephen Macht, Shawn Weatherly, Megan Ward,Damon Martain. Director: Tony Randel.
AND NOW THE SCREAMING STARTS... --- 2--- This is an okay british made film(which is almost synonomous with bad, with a few excepsions that I don't remember at this second.) where a newlywed couple goes to live at the groom's family estte. It just so happens that the groom's family is cursed("Hey honey, guess what?") and there's a ghost hiding in the old place(He hangs out around the stairs a lot) and there's a disembodied hand running around,too. Cool,huh? The film is actually pretty slow, and some of the acting is.....ugh. Peter Cushing's in it(you horror buffs better know who he is) and that may be one of the only redeeming factors of the film. DIRECTOR: Roy Ward Baker. CAST: Peter Cushing, Stephenie Beacham, Herbert Lom, Patrick Mcgee(woo hoo! Mr.Mcgee!) and Ian Ogilvy.
ANGUISH---3--- This film is a movie within a movie. It's first part has a man who has a close relationship with his dear Mother...that has him murdering people and stealing thier eyes. The second part has people watching the movie and getting terrorized by a crazed killer. Cast: Zelda Rubenstein,Micheal Lerner. Director: Bigas Luna.
APRIL FOOL'S DAY---3--- This is more like a mystery than a horror. Mystery fans will eat it up. The film has a rich millionare named Muffy St. John inviting a group of her friends onto her father's private island for a weekend of fun. They play practical joke's on each other, then they all get wasted one by one. The fun part is trying to figure out just who is the one killing everyone. Cast: Jay Baker, Deborah Foreman,Griffin O'neal, Amy Steel. Director: Fred Walton. RENT IT NOW!
ARMY OF DARKNESS---5--- This film is the third part of Sam Raimi's EVIL DEAD series. It has Bruce Campbell reprising his role as Ash, the hero from the first two evil dead films,as he battles an army of darkness(hence the title) in medival times. It really is a great movie and it has a lot of humor in it. Cast: Bruce Campbell, Embeth Davidtz,Marcus Gilbert, Ian Abercrombie. Director: Sam Raimi.
ASYLUM---3--- This is an anthology film. Now some people see that and say "Awww, Man, an anthology film? They suck!". You've got some attitude mister. But this time you're wrong. This film isn't all that bad. It has a doctor trying to get a job at an asylum in england. His potential employer tells him that a former doctor has flipped and is now in with his or her patients. He tells the doctor that if he can figure out which one is which, he get's the job. So the doctor goes thruogh the place,hearing the stories of the assorted patients(Giving us our stories). It has an interesting ending. Cast: Barbra Perkins, Sylvia Syms, Peter Cushing, Barry Morse, Richard Todd. Director: Roy Ward Baker.
B
BEING,THE---1--- This is a pathetic time waster about a monster shoving itself through a variety of victims. Piece of junk. Cast: Martain Landau, Jose Ferrer, Dorothy Malone, Ruth Buzzi. Director: Jackie Cong. AVOID!!
BIRDS,THE---4--- It's our first 4,folks. Yessir this is one good film. It's a delightful tale of birds that decide they don't like people anymore. This means the people are in deep doo doo. It's fun. I recommend it. Cast: Rod Taylor, Tippi Hedren, Jessica Tandy, Suzanne Pleshette, Veronica Cartwright, Ethel Griffies. Director: Alfred Hitchcok. RENT IT NOW!
BLOB,THE(1958)---2--- This cult classic has Steve Mcqueen fighting a man eating geleatin blob. It's kinda old, and most fans will find the re-make more satisfying. Cast: Steve Mcqueen, Aneta Corseaut,Olin Howlin. Director: Irvin S.Yeaworth.
BLOB,THE(1988)---3--- This is the re-make of the cult classic which features a blob of jello eating people right and left. It now takes place in a small town ski resort. It's alot of fun and now has bits of humor added into the mix of gory mayhem. Cast: Kevin Dillon, Shawnee Smith, Donovan Leitch, Jeffery Demunn. Director: Chuck Russell. RENT IT NOW!
BRIAN DAMAGE---2--- This is a pretty funny film about a wise cracking worm that begins to take over the life of a young man. What happens after is a battle of wills between the kid and the worm. The only real highlight is the wise cracking worm. He's pretty damned funny. Cast: Rich Herbst, Gordan Macdonald. Director: Frank Henenlotter.
BRAINSCAN---2---A teen plays a computer game where you kill people. Then he's horrifies to discover that the people he kills in his game are really being murdered. He then meets a creature that keeps tempting him to play the game again. The ending sucks bad, but the effects aren't bad, and neiyther is the acting. I've seen worse. Cast: Edward Furlong, Frank Langella, T. Ryder Smith, Amy Hargreaves. Director: John Flynn.
BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA---2--- The only bad thing abou this movie is some weird casting and too much sex. I know that some people would argue that the sex is the best part. Not me,however. Dracula is turned tragic in this version of the horror classic. Cast: Gary Oldman,Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins,Keanu Reeves,Richard E. Grant, Cary Elwes. Director:Francis Ford Coopola.
BLOODSUCKING FREAKS---less than 1. -10 as a matter of fact.--- This movie is the most disgusting film ever made,in my opinion. The plot is about a man who takes girls and makes them into slaves(leading to gut wrenchin scenes where the girls lick his boots, and are used as dartboard's and urianls, as well as lunch trays.) Then he takes them on stage and tortures and kills them in front of a live audience. The audience thinks it's all acting, and they love. The weird thing is,there are no freaks in this movie. Only a midget black guy and a dirty old man. Women and men who like women would be repulsed by the treatment of the women. Also there is a beautiful scene in which one of the maniacs sucks a women's brain out with a straw. Cst: Seamus O'brien, Niles Mcmaster. Director:Joel M. Reed. IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY CONSIDERING RENTING THIS,I SUGGEST COUNSELING AND A CATSCAN ON YOUR BRAIN!
BLUE MONKEY---3---This movie does NOT have a blue monkey in it. There is a giant blue bug,however. And this bug likes to chew on the innocent and hapless nurse's in the hospital that it has taken residence at. This one has some humor, and lot's of fun filled action. Cast: Steve Railsback, Susan Anspach, Gwynneth Walsh, John Vernon, Joe flarhety. Director: William Fruet.
BURNING,THE---1---Even the make-up effects of Sam Raimi can't save this piece of garbage. A group of teens decide to play a prank on the janitor at the camp they're all at. Well things go wrong and the guy is seriously burned. Fast forward five years and we see him leave the hospital and go back to the camp to get revenge. Now,here's the thing that I was thinking. Who exactly is he getting his revenge against? The kids that burned him are long gone. Why is he going to that camp and killing innocent kids? Oh,well. What's the point of trying to make sense out of it? The one interesting thing about this movie is that Jason Alexander(George on seinfeld) is in this film as one of the campers. CAST:Brian Matthews,Leah Ayres,Brian Backer and Jason Alexander(He doesn't have a very big part.) DIRECTOR:Tony Maylam.
C
CANDYMAN---4--- This is a scary movie about a women reserching an urban legend about a murdered slave that comes through the mirror when you say his name five times. It's interesting,and it was a clive barker tale,which is a plus. It has a lot of gore,so those with weak stomachs should avoid it. It is a good one,though. Cast:Virginia Madsen,Tony Todd, Xander Berkeley,Kasi Lemmons, Vanessa Wiliams. Director: Bernard Rose.
CANDYMAN 2:FAREWELL TO THE FLESH---2 1/2--- The sequal to the frightening film Candyman is pretty much an okay movie. It has a school tacher fighting the mythical killer to save the life of one of her students,and discovers the secrets of an old family mystery. it's okay. Worth a look. Cast:Tony Todd, Kelly Rowan, Veronica Cartwright. Director:Bill Condon.
CARNOSAUR 2---2---Unfourtunetly I have not been fortunate enough to see the original CARNOSAUR,but this one osn't very good,and I imagine the ohter must be pretty bad as well. It has a group of workers trying to restore power to a mining facility,and getting attacked and killed by blood thirsty dinosaurs. It's gory and you can see alot of mistakes and there is a part where you can see the styrofoam coming out of an exploding helicopter. It's worth a look if you want a horror movie you can laugh at. Cast:John Savage,Cliff De Young, Rick Dean,Ryan Thomas. Director:Louis Morneau.
CARRIE---1---I don't care what anybody says,this film sucks! It's soooo boring! It has a picked on misfit girl with telekinetic powers getting revenge on her tormentors(or at least that what's the tell you. It doesn't happen till the last ten minutes or so. The rest is boring.) I really did not like it. Cast: Sissy Spacek,Piper Laurie, John Travolta,Nancy Allen. Director: Brian De Palma.
CASTLE FREAK---1---This a bad film about a freak left in a castle to rot. Then a famliy takes possesio of the house. The freak gets horny and decides to kill everyone who won't do it with him. Lot's of nudity and gore. It's weird though,all the thing wanted was to get laid! That was it. the whole reason the freak killed is beacuse he couldn't get laid. The film should have been called "The horny Castle Freak that could not get laid." Cast: I unfourtunetly I do not know who is in it. Director: See cast.
CAT'S EYE---2---This is a good anthology film featuring a paranoid writer telling stories about cats(or at least having something to do with cats). It's worth a rent. Cast:James Woods, Robert Hays, Kenneth McMillian,Drew Barrymore(When she was young. So all you horny fans will have to go elsewhere if you want the Drew Barrymore with the big breasts),Candy Clark. Director: Lewis Teague.
CHILDREN OF THE CORN 2:THE FINAL SACRIFICE---2--- This one isn't all THAT bad. It's not great either. The cult of teens are shipped off to foster homes,and they go about thier regular buissness of killing off the unenlightened adults. I haven't seen the original film yet,but I am always on the look out for it. CAST:Terence Knox,Paul Scherrer,Rosalind Allen. Director:David F.Price.
CHILDREN OF THE CORN 3:URBAN HARVEST---3---Now this one I liked. This is one of the films in which I don't know who was in them or who directed them. All I know is it's a cool film. Two brothers are taken into the home of a kind couple. The older of the two is nice and likable,while the other intends to keep up with the cults buissness of killing adults. he begins to form the other kids in the town against thier parents,all save for his brother and his friends,who struggle to fight against the young cult leader. It gets a bit ridiculous near the last half hour or so,unfourtunatly. The rest of it kicks,though. Cast: I have no clue. Director: See Cast.
CHILD'S PLAY---2---This is a recent horror classic and is one fo those cult films that all horror fans(and many of those who aren't fans) know about. it has a criminal being trapped inside a child's doll. he then is given to a young boy as a present. Chaos insues. The film is good,and all of those who may want to be a horror fan may want to rent it. I recommend it. Cast: Catherine Hicks, Chris Sarandon, Brad Dourif. Director:Tom Holland.
CHILD'S PLAY 2---2 1/2--- This one is a little better than the original. It has Chucky the evil doll stalking the boy from the first film,andy, in his continuing quest to transfer his soul into the boy's body. The script is inventive,and the film is defianetley a fun ride. Cast:Alex Vincent, Jenny Agutter, Gerrit Graham,Christine Elise, Grace Zabriskie, Brad Dourif. Director: John Lafia.
CHILD'S PLAY 3---2 1/2--- Chucky follows his good buddy Andy to a military school,where he begins anew his quest to transfer his soul into a new body,as well as killing everyone he can. Cast:Justin Whalen, Brad Dourif. Director: Jack Bender.
CHOPPING MALL--- 2 1/2---This is an interesting and creative film about a group of teens who party inside a mall late at night,then the mall closes up and the high tech security droids come out to kill any and all intruders. Needless to say,the teens are in deep trouble. Cast: Kelli Maroney,Tony O'Dell, John Terlesky, Russell Todd. Director: Jim Wynorski.
CLOWNHOUSE---2---This is the ideal novice flick. it has little blood and all the other stuff that comes with your standard horror film. it is probably the best flick a person who wants to be a horror fan to start with. it has three brothers batteling it out witrh three escaped mental patients who have dressed like clowns. Cast: Nathan Forrest Winters. Director: Victor Salva
CLUB,THE---2---Picture this in your mind. You're at the prom with your signifigant other(or maybe not,as the case may be) and all of a sudden it strikes midnight,and everyone dissapears into thin air except you and five others. That's exactly what happens in this film. It's pretty original in it's entirity. Six teens one-by-one get killed off by strange creatures in an old castle. That's one fo the cool things. Good scenery is really a good way to make horror films get far on chills. Also there is an intelligent script and a whole new twist on the "Conquer your fears" plot. Defienetly worth a look. CAST:Joel Wyner,Kim Coates,Andrea Roth,Rino Romano,Kelli Taylor. DIRECTOR:Brenton Spencer.
CREEPSHOW---4---This is probably the best anthology film ever made. it has short stories by Stephen King turned into short tales of terror. it has somegreat tales in it. The film is not only scary but also has a good amount of humor in it. Also you can watch for Ed Harris in the first tale as he dances to disco with his girlfriend. Guarrenteed to make you laugh. Cast: Hal Halbrook,Adrienne Barbeau, Fritz Weaver,Leslie Nielsen,Stephen King,Ed Harris,Ted Danson Director:George A.Romero.
CREEPSHOW2---2--- Once again more of Stephen King's short stories are formed into on screen terror. The best of these stories is "The Raft" where four friends decide to swim out to a raft in a secluded lake and are one by one slaughtered by an acidic blob like creature. It also has "The Hitchhiker" which is an enjoyable tale about a hitchhiker who'll do anything to get a ride,even come back from the dead. Cast: Lois Chilles, George Kennedy, Dorothy Lamour. Director: Micheal Gornick.
CRITTERS---3---This is a funny horror film about eight little creatures who come to earth and eat alot of stuff. Two bounty hunters come after them,and chaos insues. It should be considered a cult classic. Cast:Dee Wallace,M.Emmet Walsh,Scott Grimes,Don Opper. Director:Stephen Herek.
CRITTERS 3---2---The evil little monsters come to earth once again to wreak havoc in an apartment building. Cast: Christopher Cousins, Joeseph Cousins, Don Opper. Director: Kristene Peterson.
CRITTERS 4---2---The little aliens come aboard a space ship and begin to eat the cast one-by-one. Fans of the earlyier CRITTERS films' will be pretty turned off when they see that the Critters are both beaten far too easily and that they aren't really the main evil of the story. Cast: Don Opper, Paul Whittmore,Angela Basset, Brad Dourif. Director: Rupert Harvey.
CROW,THE---3 1/2---This film is based after a comic book. It has Brandon Lee staring as a murdered man who returns to get revenge on those who killed him and his wife(or it may have just been his girlfreind. I can't remember). it's good fun and it's a neat movie. Then there was the accident. Brandon Lee was killed during the making of it,so they finished it without him. Cool,huh? Cast: Brandon Lee, Ernie Hudson, Micheal Wincott,David Patrick Kelly,Jon Polito. Director: Alex Proyas.
CTHULHU MANSION---1---This is probably the worst H.P.LOvecraft adaption ever made. it has a magician loosing demons on four thugs who are holding him captive in his own home. it's Bad. I say you ignore it. Cast: Frank Finley, Marcia Layton, Brad Fisher. Director: Juan Piquer Simon.
CUJO---3---This is a Stephen King film about a rabid saint Bernard that terrorizes a mother and her son. It's a cool movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Definetley worth a look. Cast: Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel-Hugh Kelly,Christopher Stone. Director: Lewis Teague.
D
DARK,THE---2---Below a graveyard is a creature that can heal people or kill them. So people all come out to look at it and stuff. There's a cop who wants to kill it and a scientist who wants to save it. This movie has Neve Cambell in it before she became a big name celebrity. Cast:Stephen Mchattie,Cynthia Bellivea,Jaimz Woolvett, Brion James,Neve Cambell. Director: Craig Pryce.
DAWN OF THE DEAD---3 1/2---The sequal to NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD isn't quite as good,but it's close. Two army guys,a reporter and his girlfriend all try to escape from man-eating zombies. They discover america is littered with them. They end up at the mall,batteling the zombies as thew go. George Romero is a genius when it comes to horror films. He really is the man. CAST: David Emge,Ken Foree,Scott Reiniger,Tom Savini. DIRECTOR:George A. Romero
DEAD ALIVE--- 3--- Yee Haw!!! This film is so over-the-top bloody that it has to kick ass! It's strange, it's gory, it's funny as hell....it has to be DEAD ALIVE! As you can guess, dead people come alive in this film, which is a cross from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, THE EVIL DEAD, and RABID GRANNIES(Check out that last one.). This guy's mom is bitten by a monkey-rat(That's right, a monkey-rat.) and starts eating human flesh. Well soon the guy's house is overrun by flesh eating zombies and his mother turns into a giant creature with huge rubber boobs and assets.(She then opens her stomach and stuffs him into it. Woo Hooo!!) The film was voted "Bloodiest film ever" or something to that nature. It would be terrible, if not for the black comedy and over-the-top stuff. DIRECTOR: Peter Jackson. CAST: Timothy Balme, Diana Penalver, Elizabeth Moody. DEADTIME STORIES---1 1/2---This is an anthology film that has a guy telling his frightened nephew twisted versions of fairy tales. The first has to do with witches trying to bring thier dead sister back to life. I have no idea which fairy tale this is based on,but if anyone figures it out,let me know. The second is a take on little red riding hood,and has nudity and gore in it. A woman tries to get her grandma her medicine(After having sex,but keep in mind that a guy is telling these to his nephew)and getting stalked by a werewolf. The third is a take on goldilocks and the three bears. A family escapes from an insane asylum and return to thier home and find another psychotic person with psychic powers,who has killed all kinds of horny males. CAST:Scott Valentine. DIRECTOR:Jeffery S.Delman.
DEMON WIND---2 1/2--- Okay, this film is an okay film. Seriously. This guy goes to his family farm and takes his friends into the house beacuse he "has a feeling". Well, once inside, they find they can't leave and all get killed by demons(which takes the forms of small children and dead people). Eventually they use this family book of spells to turn the hero into a goofy looking creature so he can fight the king of the demons. Sigh. DIRECTOR: Charles Philip Moore. CAST: Eric larson, Francine Lapensee, Bobby Johnson.
DEMONIC TOYS---1---Whoa boy. You of course know that a movie about toys that all kill people while being controlled by a demon who looks like a kid,you know it's gonna be bad. That's just what happens in this movie about a cop who fights it out with a group of demonic toys who are under the influence of a child demon. Other characters in this film include a chicken delievery boy and a girl who is in the film only long enough to tell the heros what's going on. Yep. Cast: Tracy Scoggins,Bentley Mittchem. Director:Peter Manoogian.
DEMONS---1---Italian film about people who go to an advance screening of a horror movie and get attacked by blood thirsty demons. The plot is a little off,and some of the stuff said in the film("Hey,it's nostradomus's tomb!")is really stupid. It's gory and predictable. The only thing cool is the make-up effects. Fans of cool facial effects may like this one. Cast: Urbano Barberini. Director: Lamberto Bava.
DEMONS 2---1---If you saw the first demons,you don't need to see this one. it's pretty much the same thing,except for the setting. This time demons kill people in an apartment building. More blood and gore,and cool facial make-up. Cast: David Knight,Nancy Brilli. Director: Lamberto Bava.
DEVONSVILLE TERROR,THE---2---A decent film about witches in a small town. The plot is this: A long time ago,three witches were killed. One of them puts a curse on the town. Then in the present, the curse begins to affect people. More women are accused of witchcraft,and fun begins. Cast: Paul Wilson, Suzanna Love,Donald Pleasence. Director: Ulli Lommel.
DR.GIGGLES---1---Chock full of bad puns,this movie is about a mental patient, who thinks he's a doctor, returns to the town where his dad was linched by a mob. he then goes on to kill innocents. A girl with heart problems is his next target,and he plans to do what his father had failed at doing: A heart transplant. Cast: Larry Drake,Holly Mancombs,Glenn Quinn,Cliff De Young,Richard Bedford. Director: Manny Cotto.
DOLLS---3---I really liked this movie about six strangers who take shelter at the home of an old couple. They are one by one attcked by the many dolls that the old man has made over the years. it has a moral message to it,and the acting is good and there are some likable characters. There are some flesh crawling moments as well. Cast:Stephen Lee,Guy Rolfe,Hilary Mason. Director: Stuart Gordon.
DON'T GO IN THE WOODS---Less than 1--- Really bad movie about a wild man killing campers in the woods. Ignore. Director: James Bryan. AVOID!
DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD,THE---2---This is an interesting who dunnit tale about a killer killing college kids who are cleaning out a dormatory for renovation. The film keeps you guessing. Cast: Pamela Holland,Stephen Sachs. Director: Jeffery Obrow,Stephen Carpenter(Two directors!)
EVIL,THE---2 1/2---A psychologist and some of his colleuges and students try to fix up an old house for the psychologist and his wife can live there. Unfourtunetly,the house is possessed by the devil(Who acctualy shows up! Victor Buono plays the prince of darkness in this one.). So you canimagine that they really begin to feel like they should have stayed home. CAST: Richard Crenna,Joanna Pettet,Andrew Prine,Cassie Yates,Victor Buono,Mary Louise Weller. DIRECTOR: Gus Trikonas.
EVIL DEAD,THE----5--- This is strictly a matter of opinion,but I think this movie kicks ass! And there are legions of fans that agree with me(If you don't believe me,search the net for this film,and you'll find tons of sites to look at). Low-buget special effects are the name of the game here. But the low-budget makes it seem more impresive. In this film we are introduced to Ash and his pals as they go to a cabin the mountains for a weekend of partying. Well they accidently wake up demons that come and possess them one-by-one. Then there is alot of bloody carnage,since the only way to stop the demons is FULL BODY DISMEMBERMENT! That's right folks,the only way to stop these demons is to chop them into tiny little bits. Cool,huh? Stephen King called it "A fiercely original film" Definetly worth a look. CAST:Bruc Campbell,Ellem Sandweiss Director:Sam Raimi
EVIL DEAD,THE2---5--- This film is pretty much the same movie as the original,but ti still rules. It leaves off where the first one left off,Ash trying to escape the evil cabin in the mountains. Ash finds he can't leave,and he is forced once again to face the demons. This time the daughter of the archeologist that had once stayed in the cabin comes calling with her boyfriend,and gets help froma redneck and his woman(Maybe his cousin. Who knows?). Once they get to the cabin,they wish they hadn't. But the cool stuff is the new humo added to it. Deer heads and lamps laugh at him,his hand tries to kill him,and his girlfriend's headless body tries to kill him. Cool,huh? Hope I haven't given too much away already. But check this one out! Also check out ARMY OF DARKNESS,too,beacuse it brings the trilogy to the end. CAST: Bruce Campbell,Sarah Barry. Director:Sam Raimi.
EXORCIST,THE---4--- The only thing keeping this film away from a five is the abundance of slow boring parts. But the parts where cool stuff happens are cool enough for the film to kick butt. A young girl is possesed by the devil,and a priest tries to expell the ole prince of darkness. There is tons of profanity and stuff while the little girl freaks out mom and stuff. She also pees on the floor. Just thought you'd want to know that this isn't for the kiddies. CAST:Ellen Burstyn,Max Von Sydow,Linda Blair,Jason Miller,Lee J.Cobb. Director: William Friedkin
EXORCIST 2:THE HERETIC----1---- Bad acting and an even worse script really make this film a piece of crap. Linda Blair again plays her character from the first film,but this time the girl is having bad memories about what happened. Sounds bad,huh? CAST: Richard Burton,Linda Blair,Louise Fletcher,James Earl Jones,Max Von Sydow. DIRECTOR:John Boorman(appropriate,huh? Get it? John BOREman?)
FEAR,THE---1--- this is a pretty bad film that has a group of people going to a fear retreat,and getting assaulted by a wooden manequin. For no apparent reason. There is also a crappy sub-plot about a rapist. Stupid. Avoid it. CAST: Eddie Bowz,Ann Turkel, Leland Hayward,Darin Heames,Vince Edwards,Anna Karin,Wes Craven. DIRECTOR: Vincent Robert.
FINAL EXAM---1--- Just your standard slasher. A madman slaughters college kids on a campus. Really pretty stupid. CAST: Joel S.Rice. DIRECTOR:Jimmy Huston.
FLY,THE---2 1/2--- This is a pretty good film with Jeff Goldblum playing a scientist who has made a break-through on a teleportation device. He brings a reporter(Geena Davis) to show his machine off. Antway,they fall in love. Well Jeff gets plastered and tries to go through himself. Well,a housefly gets into the machine with him,and the two beings get thier genes spliced. Jeff slowly turns into a fly,and things get bad. CAST:Jeff Goldblum,Genna Davis,John Getz. DIRECTOR: David Cronberg.
FLY 2,THE---This sequal has the son of the original fly turning into a fly himself. he falls in love with a chick,making things a heckuva lot harder for the guy. CAST: Eric Stlotz,Daphne Zuniga,Lee Richardson,John Getz. DIRECTOR:Chris Walas.
FREDDY'S DEAD:THE FINAL NIGHTMARE---2---This is supposed to be Freddy's fianl romp,but I doubt it. This time a new batch of teens get nailed,only this time they're lead by the 'ole dream murderer's daughter. It's not a really bad film,but it isn't great either. The special effects are pretty good,though. CAST: Robert Englund,Lisa Zane,Yaphet Kotto. Director: Rachel Talalay.
FRIDAY THE 13TH---3---This is the very first slasher film. A group of teens get slaughtered by a maniac. It was cool here,while the idea was still new. But this one is pretty good,and there's alot of blood. Worth a look. Anyone who wants to be a major horror fan should rent this one. CAST: Betsy Palmer,Adrienne King, Harry Crosby, Kevin Bacon. DIRECTOR: Sean S.Cunningham.
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2---2---Jason makes his first appearence in this film. But there's no hockey mask. He has a bag over his head. A group of teens are all killed off by a killer at a camp that is on the other side of camp crystal lake. Jason kills them all one-by-one. The idea sadly begins to get old. CAST:Amy Steel,John Furey,Adrienne King,Betsy Palmer.DIRECTOR:Steve Minor.
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3---2--- Jason fianlly gets the famous hockey mask in this one. Jason once again returns to kill off teenagers. Yawn. CAST:Dana Kimmel,Paul Kratka. DIRECTOR: Steve Minor.
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 4: THE FINAL CHAPTER---3---Tom Savini returned to this one beacuse he had the chance to kill Jason. And Jason does die. They promised that this was to be the last time Jason was going to come around and kill everyone,but now we know better. CAST: Kimberley Beck,Corey Feldman,Peter Barton,Joan Freeman. DIRECTOR: Joseph Zito.
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 5: A NEW BEGINING---1---This film is so bad it makes me nauseous to even think of it. The young guy in the fourth film returns,now insane. That is cool. But the rest of the film is really stupid. CAST:John Shepard,Melanie Kinnaman,Richard Young. DIRECTOR:Danny Steinman.
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 6:JASON LIVES---2 1/2---Tommy comes to make sure Jason is dead,but brings him back again by accident(oops). Then he has to try and take him down. Then Jason kills a new grouop of teens,as well as cops. It's better than many other entry;s in the series. There was also little bits of humor in this one. CAST:Thom Mathews,Jennifer Cook. DIRECTOR:Tom Mcloughin.
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 7:THE NEW BLOOD---2---A girl with telekinetic powers returns to the place where she accidently killed her father(oops),which happens to be crystal lake. She accidently brings Jason back(oops again. This girl is really stupid or really accident prone) and he kills everyone. The best part of the film is when the girl and Jason battle it out. Worth a look. CAST: Lar Park Lincoln,Terry Kiser. DIRECTOR:John Carl Bucheler
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 8---2---Jason kills kids on thier senior class trip. Then he goes to manhattan and kills more people. Again. CAST: Jensen Daggert,Scott Reeves, Peter Mark Richman. DIRECTOR: Rob Hedden.
FRIGHTMARE---1---An old horror film star bites the dust. Okay. Then a group of teens decide to steal the body("Hey guys,let's go dig that guy up just for laughs!") and screw areound with it. They take the body after breaking into the funeral home. They then take the body to the old guys house. They party. The girls dance with the old dead guy,then they lock the body in a trunk in the attic. Thena psychic uses her powers to find the body,and she wakes up the corpse,and the old guy goes and kills the teens one by one. Interesting,huh? CAST:Luca Bercovici,Jennifer Starret,Nita Talbot. DIRECTOR: Norman Thaddeus Vane.
FUNHOUSE,THE---2--It seems to me that alot of the films that begin with f have some teen doing something stupid,killing all kinds of people. It happens again in this one. Four teens decide to sleep in a funhouse at this really bad carnival. One of the guys takes someone's money,and the guy and his mutant son go after them,determined to get thier cash back and kill the kids who took it. It's not too bad. It's one of those novice films that doesn't have alot of blood. New fans that aren't desenitixed yet may want to rent this. CAST:Elizabeth Beridge,Cooper Huckabee,Miles Chapin,Largo Woodruff,Sylvia Miles. DIRECTOR:Tobe Hooper.
G
GATE,THE---3---This isn't a scary movie. So if you're looking for a scare,don't rent it. But
if you want a well-made film with good special effects,rent it. it has two kids play a record
that tells you how to open the gate to another world. The kids,along with one fo the kids
sister,who happens to get caught up in it,open the gate,and at first nothing happens. But then
all sorts of demons show up,and wreak havoc. The kids all try to fend off the demons and
save thier home. It is worth a look for fans of good special effects and of films that aren't
scary,but are still good. Novices may enjoy it more than hard-core horror fans.
CAST:Stephen Dorff,Louis Tripp. DIRECTOR: Tibor Takacas.
GATE 2---2 1/2--- Not nearly as good as it's predecessor,but it's still good. The film has one
fo the boys from the original deciding that he can do the whole gate thing again,but this time
he will control it. He trys,but looses his nerve. But some other kids screw stuff up and
summon the demons. This time the teens find out that they can use a little creatures to get
thier wishes granted. But they soon are all caught up in a battle with demons. CAST:Louis
Tripp,Simon Renyolds,James Villemaire,Pamela Segall. DIRECTOR:Tibor Takacs.
GHOULIES---1---The first of a four part series about little demons starts here. It has a
group of little demons getting summoned by magic and killing people. It's old by the first
reel.CAST:Peter Liapis,Lisa Pelikan,John Nance. DIRECTOR:Luca Bercovici.
GHOULIES 2---1---Another bad film about little deomns killing people. This time the little
monsters take residence in a carnival house of horrors. They kill people and the audience
thinks it pretty cool. But the young owner of the ride decides to destroy the monsters.
CAST:Damon Martain,Royal Dano. DIRECTOR:Albert Band.
GHOULIES 3---1---The ghoulies go to college! The worst thing about this one is all that
humor that the person saying it thinks is funny,but the audience thinks it's the stupidest thing
they have ever heard. I think it was made more of a comedy than a horror film. The
ghoulies get onto a college campus durign prank week. They kill people. What did you
actually think you were going to do? CAST:Kevin Mccarthy,Evan Mackenzie
DIRECTOR:John Carl Buechler.
GUARDIAN,THE---1---A couple from L.A hire a nanny for thier child. Then they discover
that she worships a tree and has control over wolves and stuff. You think you'd notice
something like that. I know that if a woman ever takes a job watching over my kid,I'd keep
a pretty close look on her. I mean there's this,The hand that rocks the cradle....I mean,all
nanny's are either evil bitch goddesses or are annoying chicks from brooklyn that when they
laugh you want to shove an ice pick into them. I'm never hiring a nanny. CAST:Jenny
Seagrove,Dwier Brown. DIRECTOR:William Friedkin.
H
HALLOWEEN---4--- This is probably the best slasher film ever made. It has a maniac
escaping his mental ward and returning to the town where he killed his sister,followed by his
doctor(played by Donald Pleasence). The film is great,and it serves as the basis for many
other films,including the film SCREAM. Also for those of you who have seen scream,a man
gets killed after smoking,having sex and saying "I'll be right back." Interesting,huh? The
film focuses on suspense and atmosphere rather than blood and guts.CAST:Jamie Lee
Curtis,Donald Pleasence,Nancy Loomis,P.J. Soles,Charles Cyphers. DIRECTOR:John
Carpenter.
HALLOWEEN 2---3---This takes place directly after the first film,with Jamie Lee Curtis
being stalked by Micheal Myers,the evil maniac who killed his sister. Donald Pleasence also
returns as Micheal's doctor,trying to stop the escaped mental patient.CAST:Jamie Lee
Curtis,Donald Pleasence,Charles Cypher,Jefferey Kramer,Lance Guest. DIRECTOR:Rick
Rosenthal.
HALLOWEEN 3---2---A mask manafacturer creates masks that burn off kids faces when a
special commercial airs. A woman hires a guy to help her find her father,and then he
stumbles onto the evil plot. it has nothing to do with the other films in the series,and it pretty
much is a bad film. Really not worth it. CAST:Tom Atkins,Stacey Nelkin,Dan O'herilhy.
DIRECTOR:Tommy Lee Wallace.
HALLOWEEN 4:THE RETURN OF MICHEAL MYERS---3---Micheal Myers once again
returns to haddonfield,and donald pleasence once again comes back to stop him. Once again
the focus of the film is suspense and atmosphere,and not blood and guts. This time Micheal
is after his young niece.CAST:Donald Pleasence,Ellie Cornell,Danielle Harris.
DIRECTOR:Dwight H. Little.
HALLOWEEN 5:THE REVENGE OF MICHEAL MYERS---2 1/2---Micheal Myers once
again goes after his niece,and Donald Pleasence goes after him. It gets kinda old this time
and it also gets really gorey. That isn't very good. CAST:Donald Pleasence,Ellie
Cornell,Danielle Harris,Beau Starr. DIRECTOR:Dominique Othenin-Girard.
HALLOWEEN 6:THE CURSE OF MICHEAL MYERS---3---This one gets a little better.
A brand new thing begins as they explain exactly why Micheal is so evil. Also there's a
really big druid thing happening,and it adds alot of interesting characters. Donald Pleasence
again starred in this one,but it's his last film. He died soon after,and the film is dedicated to
him. Micheal goes after his niece,but not the same niece as in 4 and 5. it's that niece's
daughter. So Uncle Micheal wants to nail her,too. CAST:Donald Pleasence is the only guy
I know from this. I don't know the rest of the cast. I also don't know who directed it.
HAND,THE---1---Micheal Caine loses his hand in a bad accident(He waves a truck to pass
them and his hand gets taken off(apparently the guy wasn't fast enough to get his friggin
hand back in the window.). Then the hand comes back to life and kills people in a series of
strangulations. It's pretty stupid. CAST:Micheal Caine,Andrea Marcovicci,Annie
Mcenroe,Bruce Mcgill. DIRECTOR:Oliver Stone.
HARD ROCK ZOMBIES---2---A rock bad gets killed and gets brought back to life by one
of thier songs. Then the whole friggin town gets turned into zombies,and the nazi's have a
role to play in all of it. It's really stupid and funny,but it's still pretty good. It's a good film
to watch if you're looking for a laugh. CAST:E.J Curico,Sam Mann. DIRECTOR:Krishna
Shah.
HELL NIGHT---2---Linda Blair stars in this film about teens who stay the night in a
haunted house to get into sorroitys and fraternity's. The only thing is the house is "Haunted"
by a strange mutant killer. It's pretty good for a slasher. CAST:Linda Blair,Vincent Van
Patten,Peter Barton,Jenny Neuman.DIRECTOR:Tom Desimone
HELLBOUND:HELLRAISER 2---2--- This film has a girl who is excelent at puzzles
releases the cynobites from the first film. The heroine from the first film is tossed into hell
with the girl and a mad doctor and the heroines' bitch of a step-mother try to get the power of
hell on thier side. There are people that have no skin in this one. Cool,huh? CAST:Clare
Higgins,Asheley Laurence,Kenneth Cranham. DIRECTOR:Tony Randel.
HELLO,MARY LOU:PROM NIGHT 2---1---A murdered prom queen returns to get
revenge on her killer. Don't get the wrong idea,the girl deserved it,and she kills all kind of
people for no reason. It's really pretty dumb,and there are scenes of lesbianism,too. Don't
ask me why. CAST:Lisa Schrage,Wendy Lyon,Micheal Ironside. DIRECTOR:Bruce
Pittman.
HELLRAISER---2--- A guy buys a demonic cube that opens the gate to hell,and he releases
some really nasty guys called cynobites(Led by the infamous Pinhead.). The guy is
killed(sorta) but then he comes back with no skin. In order to get his skin back he has to get
his brother's wife to help him get men to kill. Then the woman's daughter in law gets
involved and trys to stop him. The film was based on a short story by Clive Barker,and he
also directs it. But even the author can't get his story's to work on film. CAST:Andrew
Robinson,Clare Higgins,Asheley Lawrence. DIRECTOR:Clive Barker.
HELLRAISER 3:HELL ON EARTH--- 2 1/2---Pinhead returns to earth and kills more
people. He also makes all kind of cool new cynobites out of his victims(like a D.J who fires
CD's from his head,and a fire-breathing bartender). This time a T.V reporter gets involved
in the whole thing by helping a young woman who's friend was killed. CAST:Terry
Farrell,Doug Bradley,Paula Marshall,Kevin Bernhardt,Asheley lawrence.
DIRECTOR:Anthony Hickox.
HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL---3---Vincent Prince invites a group of people to spend the
night in his supposedly haunted mansion for a million dollars. Then they all experience
hauntings and weird goings on. It's a pretty creepy film that is funny at times and pretty
creepy at other times. CAST:Vincent Price,Carol Ohmart,Richard Long,Elsisha Cook
Jr.,Carolyn Craig,Alan Marshall. DIRECTOR:William Castle.
HOWLING,THE---4---Probably the best werewolf movie ever made about a couple who
goes away for a therapy weekend at a woodland community. They soon discover the place
is crawling with werewolves. It's actually pretty good. I say check it out. CAST:Dee
Wallace,Christopher Stone,Patrick Macnee,Dennis Dugan,Slim Pickens,John Carradine.
DIRECTOR:Joe Dante.
HOWLING,THE 2:YOUR SISTER IS WEREWOLF---1--- A werewolf hunter and a
couple try to defeat a female werewolf and her minions. Really sucks. CAST:Christopher
Lee,Reb Brown,Annie Mcenroe,Sybil Danning. DIRECTOR:Philippe Mora.
HOWLING,THE 3---2---A pretty cheesy film about australian werewolves and thier
relationships with man. It's really pretty bad. CAST:Barry Otto. DIRECTOR:Philippe
Mora.
HOWLING,THE 5:THE REBIRTH---3 1/2---This is a really good movie about a group of
people who get invited to a castle for a weekend. Then everyone tries to figure out which
one of them is a werewolf. The count tries to figure out which one of them it is,but he's not
above suspicion. The great mystery-like fashion of the film was great and I really love this
film. CAST: Philip Davis. DIRECTOR:Neal Sundstrom.
HOWLING 7:NEW MOON---2---A pretty funny unauthorised entry in the long-running
werewolf series. An australian stranger arives in a small town. At the same time an
inspector also arrives in the town,and he and a priest try to discover who is the werewolf.
Those who saw the fifth installment of the series will understand this alot more since it has
alot to do with it. Murders begin to happen,and the town begins to suspect the stranger. But
who really is the werewolf? CAST:John Ramsden,Ernest Kether,Clive Turner,John Huff.
DIRECTOR:Clive Turner.
HUMONGOUS---1---A group of people on boating trip crash land on an island inhabited by
a pack of dogs and a mutant boy who kills them one-by-one. This was so bad th at I never
saw the end of it. I fell asleep. CAST:Janet Julian,David Wallace. DIRECTOR:Paul
Lynch(He should have been lynched. Get it? Lynch? Awwww,forget it.)