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Okay even though my brother takes credit for these all by him self I did help him, alot so out of my brother's and my mind here are the up to now un finished Horror movie review page



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REVIEWS

ALLIGATOR---3---This is a fun film about a giant alligator duking it out with a cop(Robert Foster). The film is good fun, and it's loaded with humor. Make sure you read the graffitit on the walls in the background. Cast:Robert Foster, Micheal Gazzo, Robin Riker, Perry lang,Jack Carter. Director: Lewis Teague.

ALONE IN THE DARK---1--- Despite the presence of film stars Jack Palance and Donald Pleasence, this movie really sucks. The film features a group of mental cases escaping from thier current home and terrorizing thier doctor and his family. I say you avoid it. But it's your money. Cast: Jack Palance,Donald Pleasence,Martain Landau,Dwight Schultz. Director: Jack Sholder.

AMERICAN GOTHIC---3--- This is a movie that has little blood, and tons of creepyness and characterization. It has a group of friends crash landing on an island inhabited by Ma and Pa(Rod Stieger and Yvonne De Carlo) and thier kids(who look like they're 40,but they act and dress like kids. Pretty strange,huh?),who delight on killing the visitors one-by-one. Too bad it kind of gets a little too weird and basically retarded by the ending. Cast:Rod Steiger,Yvonne De Carlo,Micheal J.Pollard. Director: John Hough

AMITTYVILLE HORROR,THE---1---This film is BORING! It really sucks cheese! Man this film is bad. It was supposedly based on an actual event, but if the even was as boring as the film, I'm sure it was a horrible experience. Read a book instead. Cast: James Brolin, Margot Kidder, Rod Steiger. Director: Stuart Rosenberg.

AMITYVILLE CURSE,THE---2--- Those of you who saw the first film, forget about it. This one is better,but not by much. It has a group of freinds moving into the house of hell. The plot thickens when one of the friends,who happens to be a psychic, struggles to save her friends from the demons who share the horrible homestead. Cast: Kim Coates Director:Tom Berry.

AMITYVILLE 1992: IT'S ABOUT TIME---2--- This one is chalk fullof special effects, but it lacks alot of suspense. It features a clock putting a surburban family through hell(what do you expect from a clock that came from the house of hell?). It's not bad. I've seen a helluva lot worse. Cast:Stephen Macht, Shawn Weatherly, Megan Ward,Damon Martain. Director: Tony Randel.

AND NOW THE SCREAMING STARTS... --- 2--- This is an okay british made film(which is almost synonomous with bad, with a few excepsions that I don't remember at this second.) where a newlywed couple goes to live at the groom's family estte. It just so happens that the groom's family is cursed("Hey honey, guess what?") and there's a ghost hiding in the old place(He hangs out around the stairs a lot) and there's a disembodied hand running around,too. Cool,huh? The film is actually pretty slow, and some of the acting is.....ugh. Peter Cushing's in it(you horror buffs better know who he is) and that may be one of the only redeeming factors of the film. DIRECTOR: Roy Ward Baker. CAST: Peter Cushing, Stephenie Beacham, Herbert Lom, Patrick Mcgee(woo hoo! Mr.Mcgee!) and Ian Ogilvy.

ANGUISH---3--- This film is a movie within a movie. It's first part has a man who has a close relationship with his dear Mother...that has him murdering people and stealing thier eyes. The second part has people watching the movie and getting terrorized by a crazed killer. Cast: Zelda Rubenstein,Micheal Lerner. Director: Bigas Luna.

APRIL FOOL'S DAY---3--- This is more like a mystery than a horror. Mystery fans will eat it up. The film has a rich millionare named Muffy St. John inviting a group of her friends onto her father's private island for a weekend of fun. They play practical joke's on each other, then they all get wasted one by one. The fun part is trying to figure out just who is the one killing everyone. Cast: Jay Baker, Deborah Foreman,Griffin O'neal, Amy Steel. Director: Fred Walton. RENT IT NOW!

ARMY OF DARKNESS---5--- This film is the third part of Sam Raimi's EVIL DEAD series. It has Bruce Campbell reprising his role as Ash, the hero from the first two evil dead films,as he battles an army of darkness(hence the title) in medival times. It really is a great movie and it has a lot of humor in it. Cast: Bruce Campbell, Embeth Davidtz,Marcus Gilbert, Ian Abercrombie. Director: Sam Raimi.

ASYLUM---3--- This is an anthology film. Now some people see that and say "Awww, Man, an anthology film? They suck!". You've got some attitude mister. But this time you're wrong. This film isn't all that bad. It has a doctor trying to get a job at an asylum in england. His potential employer tells him that a former doctor has flipped and is now in with his or her patients. He tells the doctor that if he can figure out which one is which, he get's the job. So the doctor goes thruogh the place,hearing the stories of the assorted patients(Giving us our stories). It has an interesting ending. Cast: Barbra Perkins, Sylvia Syms, Peter Cushing, Barry Morse, Richard Todd. Director: Roy Ward Baker.

B

BEING,THE---1--- This is a pathetic time waster about a monster shoving itself through a variety of victims. Piece of junk. Cast: Martain Landau, Jose Ferrer, Dorothy Malone, Ruth Buzzi. Director: Jackie Cong. AVOID!!

BIRDS,THE---4--- It's our first 4,folks. Yessir this is one good film. It's a delightful tale of birds that decide they don't like people anymore. This means the people are in deep doo doo. It's fun. I recommend it. Cast: Rod Taylor, Tippi Hedren, Jessica Tandy, Suzanne Pleshette, Veronica Cartwright, Ethel Griffies. Director: Alfred Hitchcok. RENT IT NOW!

BLOB,THE(1958)---2--- This cult classic has Steve Mcqueen fighting a man eating geleatin blob. It's kinda old, and most fans will find the re-make more satisfying. Cast: Steve Mcqueen, Aneta Corseaut,Olin Howlin. Director: Irvin S.Yeaworth.

BLOB,THE(1988)---3--- This is the re-make of the cult classic which features a blob of jello eating people right and left. It now takes place in a small town ski resort. It's alot of fun and now has bits of humor added into the mix of gory mayhem. Cast: Kevin Dillon, Shawnee Smith, Donovan Leitch, Jeffery Demunn. Director: Chuck Russell. RENT IT NOW!

BRIAN DAMAGE---2--- This is a pretty funny film about a wise cracking worm that begins to take over the life of a young man. What happens after is a battle of wills between the kid and the worm. The only real highlight is the wise cracking worm. He's pretty damned funny. Cast: Rich Herbst, Gordan Macdonald. Director: Frank Henenlotter.

BRAINSCAN---2---A teen plays a computer game where you kill people. Then he's horrifies to discover that the people he kills in his game are really being murdered. He then meets a creature that keeps tempting him to play the game again. The ending sucks bad, but the effects aren't bad, and neiyther is the acting. I've seen worse. Cast: Edward Furlong, Frank Langella, T. Ryder Smith, Amy Hargreaves. Director: John Flynn.

BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA---2--- The only bad thing abou this movie is some weird casting and too much sex. I know that some people would argue that the sex is the best part. Not me,however. Dracula is turned tragic in this version of the horror classic. Cast: Gary Oldman,Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins,Keanu Reeves,Richard E. Grant, Cary Elwes. Director:Francis Ford Coopola.

BLOODSUCKING FREAKS---less than 1. -10 as a matter of fact.--- This movie is the most disgusting film ever made,in my opinion. The plot is about a man who takes girls and makes them into slaves(leading to gut wrenchin scenes where the girls lick his boots, and are used as dartboard's and urianls, as well as lunch trays.) Then he takes them on stage and tortures and kills them in front of a live audience. The audience thinks it's all acting, and they love. The weird thing is,there are no freaks in this movie. Only a midget black guy and a dirty old man. Women and men who like women would be repulsed by the treatment of the women. Also there is a beautiful scene in which one of the maniacs sucks a women's brain out with a straw. Cst: Seamus O'brien, Niles Mcmaster. Director:Joel M. Reed. IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY CONSIDERING RENTING THIS,I SUGGEST COUNSELING AND A CATSCAN ON YOUR BRAIN!

BLUE MONKEY---3---This movie does NOT have a blue monkey in it. There is a giant blue bug,however. And this bug likes to chew on the innocent and hapless nurse's in the hospital that it has taken residence at. This one has some humor, and lot's of fun filled action. Cast: Steve Railsback, Susan Anspach, Gwynneth Walsh, John Vernon, Joe flarhety. Director: William Fruet.

BURNING,THE---1---Even the make-up effects of Sam Raimi can't save this piece of garbage. A group of teens decide to play a prank on the janitor at the camp they're all at. Well things go wrong and the guy is seriously burned. Fast forward five years and we see him leave the hospital and go back to the camp to get revenge. Now,here's the thing that I was thinking. Who exactly is he getting his revenge against? The kids that burned him are long gone. Why is he going to that camp and killing innocent kids? Oh,well. What's the point of trying to make sense out of it? The one interesting thing about this movie is that Jason Alexander(George on seinfeld) is in this film as one of the campers. CAST:Brian Matthews,Leah Ayres,Brian Backer and Jason Alexander(He doesn't have a very big part.) DIRECTOR:Tony Maylam.

C

CANDYMAN---4--- This is a scary movie about a women reserching an urban legend about a murdered slave that comes through the mirror when you say his name five times. It's interesting,and it was a clive barker tale,which is a plus. It has a lot of gore,so those with weak stomachs should avoid it. It is a good one,though. Cast:Virginia Madsen,Tony Todd, Xander Berkeley,Kasi Lemmons, Vanessa Wiliams. Director: Bernard Rose.

CANDYMAN 2:FAREWELL TO THE FLESH---2 1/2--- The sequal to the frightening film Candyman is pretty much an okay movie. It has a school tacher fighting the mythical killer to save the life of one of her students,and discovers the secrets of an old family mystery. it's okay. Worth a look. Cast:Tony Todd, Kelly Rowan, Veronica Cartwright. Director:Bill Condon.

CARNOSAUR 2---2---Unfourtunetly I have not been fortunate enough to see the original CARNOSAUR,but this one osn't very good,and I imagine the ohter must be pretty bad as well. It has a group of workers trying to restore power to a mining facility,and getting attacked and killed by blood thirsty dinosaurs. It's gory and you can see alot of mistakes and there is a part where you can see the styrofoam coming out of an exploding helicopter. It's worth a look if you want a horror movie you can laugh at. Cast:John Savage,Cliff De Young, Rick Dean,Ryan Thomas. Director:Louis Morneau.

CARRIE---1---I don't care what anybody says,this film sucks! It's soooo boring! It has a picked on misfit girl with telekinetic powers getting revenge on her tormentors(or at least that what's the tell you. It doesn't happen till the last ten minutes or so. The rest is boring.) I really did not like it. Cast: Sissy Spacek,Piper Laurie, John Travolta,Nancy Allen. Director: Brian De Palma.

CASTLE FREAK---1---This a bad film about a freak left in a castle to rot. Then a famliy takes possesio of the house. The freak gets horny and decides to kill everyone who won't do it with him. Lot's of nudity and gore. It's weird though,all the thing wanted was to get laid! That was it. the whole reason the freak killed is beacuse he couldn't get laid. The film should have been called "The horny Castle Freak that could not get laid." Cast: I unfourtunetly I do not know who is in it. Director: See cast.

CAT'S EYE---2---This is a good anthology film featuring a paranoid writer telling stories about cats(or at least having something to do with cats). It's worth a rent. Cast:James Woods, Robert Hays, Kenneth McMillian,Drew Barrymore(When she was young. So all you horny fans will have to go elsewhere if you want the Drew Barrymore with the big breasts),Candy Clark. Director: Lewis Teague.

CHILDREN OF THE CORN 2:THE FINAL SACRIFICE---2--- This one isn't all THAT bad. It's not great either. The cult of teens are shipped off to foster homes,and they go about thier regular buissness of killing off the unenlightened adults. I haven't seen the original film yet,but I am always on the look out for it. CAST:Terence Knox,Paul Scherrer,Rosalind Allen. Director:David F.Price.

CHILDREN OF THE CORN 3:URBAN HARVEST---3---Now this one I liked. This is one of the films in which I don't know who was in them or who directed them. All I know is it's a cool film. Two brothers are taken into the home of a kind couple. The older of the two is nice and likable,while the other intends to keep up with the cults buissness of killing adults. he begins to form the other kids in the town against thier parents,all save for his brother and his friends,who struggle to fight against the young cult leader. It gets a bit ridiculous near the last half hour or so,unfourtunatly. The rest of it kicks,though. Cast: I have no clue. Director: See Cast.

CHILD'S PLAY---2---This is a recent horror classic and is one fo those cult films that all horror fans(and many of those who aren't fans) know about. it has a criminal being trapped inside a child's doll. he then is given to a young boy as a present. Chaos insues. The film is good,and all of those who may want to be a horror fan may want to rent it. I recommend it. Cast: Catherine Hicks, Chris Sarandon, Brad Dourif. Director:Tom Holland.

CHILD'S PLAY 2---2 1/2--- This one is a little better than the original. It has Chucky the evil doll stalking the boy from the first film,andy, in his continuing quest to transfer his soul into the boy's body. The script is inventive,and the film is defianetley a fun ride. Cast:Alex Vincent, Jenny Agutter, Gerrit Graham,Christine Elise, Grace Zabriskie, Brad Dourif. Director: John Lafia.

CHILD'S PLAY 3---2 1/2--- Chucky follows his good buddy Andy to a military school,where he begins anew his quest to transfer his soul into a new body,as well as killing everyone he can. Cast:Justin Whalen, Brad Dourif. Director: Jack Bender.

CHOPPING MALL--- 2 1/2---This is an interesting and creative film about a group of teens who party inside a mall late at night,then the mall closes up and the high tech security droids come out to kill any and all intruders. Needless to say,the teens are in deep trouble. Cast: Kelli Maroney,Tony O'Dell, John Terlesky, Russell Todd. Director: Jim Wynorski.

CLOWNHOUSE---2---This is the ideal novice flick. it has little blood and all the other stuff that comes with your standard horror film. it is probably the best flick a person who wants to be a horror fan to start with. it has three brothers batteling it out witrh three escaped mental patients who have dressed like clowns. Cast: Nathan Forrest Winters. Director: Victor Salva

CLUB,THE---2---Picture this in your mind. You're at the prom with your signifigant other(or maybe not,as the case may be) and all of a sudden it strikes midnight,and everyone dissapears into thin air except you and five others. That's exactly what happens in this film. It's pretty original in it's entirity. Six teens one-by-one get killed off by strange creatures in an old castle. That's one fo the cool things. Good scenery is really a good way to make horror films get far on chills. Also there is an intelligent script and a whole new twist on the "Conquer your fears" plot. Defienetly worth a look. CAST:Joel Wyner,Kim Coates,Andrea Roth,Rino Romano,Kelli Taylor. DIRECTOR:Brenton Spencer.

CREEPSHOW---4---This is probably the best anthology film ever made. it has short stories by Stephen King turned into short tales of terror. it has somegreat tales in it. The film is not only scary but also has a good amount of humor in it. Also you can watch for Ed Harris in the first tale as he dances to disco with his girlfriend. Guarrenteed to make you laugh. Cast: Hal Halbrook,Adrienne Barbeau, Fritz Weaver,Leslie Nielsen,Stephen King,Ed Harris,Ted Danson Director:George A.Romero.

CREEPSHOW2---2--- Once again more of Stephen King's short stories are formed into on screen terror. The best of these stories is "The Raft" where four friends decide to swim out to a raft in a secluded lake and are one by one slaughtered by an acidic blob like creature. It also has "The Hitchhiker" which is an enjoyable tale about a hitchhiker who'll do anything to get a ride,even come back from the dead. Cast: Lois Chilles, George Kennedy, Dorothy Lamour. Director: Micheal Gornick.

CRITTERS---3---This is a funny horror film about eight little creatures who come to earth and eat alot of stuff. Two bounty hunters come after them,and chaos insues. It should be considered a cult classic. Cast:Dee Wallace,M.Emmet Walsh,Scott Grimes,Don Opper. Director:Stephen Herek.

CRITTERS 3---2---The evil little monsters come to earth once again to wreak havoc in an apartment building. Cast: Christopher Cousins, Joeseph Cousins, Don Opper. Director: Kristene Peterson.

CRITTERS 4---2---The little aliens come aboard a space ship and begin to eat the cast one-by-one. Fans of the earlyier CRITTERS films' will be pretty turned off when they see that the Critters are both beaten far too easily and that they aren't really the main evil of the story. Cast: Don Opper, Paul Whittmore,Angela Basset, Brad Dourif. Director: Rupert Harvey.

CROW,THE---3 1/2---This film is based after a comic book. It has Brandon Lee staring as a murdered man who returns to get revenge on those who killed him and his wife(or it may have just been his girlfreind. I can't remember). it's good fun and it's a neat movie. Then there was the accident. Brandon Lee was killed during the making of it,so they finished it without him. Cool,huh? Cast: Brandon Lee, Ernie Hudson, Micheal Wincott,David Patrick Kelly,Jon Polito. Director: Alex Proyas.

CTHULHU MANSION---1---This is probably the worst H.P.LOvecraft adaption ever made. it has a magician loosing demons on four thugs who are holding him captive in his own home. it's Bad. I say you ignore it. Cast: Frank Finley, Marcia Layton, Brad Fisher. Director: Juan Piquer Simon.

CUJO---3---This is a Stephen King film about a rabid saint Bernard that terrorizes a mother and her son. It's a cool movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Definetley worth a look. Cast: Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel-Hugh Kelly,Christopher Stone. Director: Lewis Teague.

D

DARK,THE---2---Below a graveyard is a creature that can heal people or kill them. So people all come out to look at it and stuff. There's a cop who wants to kill it and a scientist who wants to save it. This movie has Neve Cambell in it before she became a big name celebrity. Cast:Stephen Mchattie,Cynthia Bellivea,Jaimz Woolvett, Brion James,Neve Cambell. Director: Craig Pryce.

DAWN OF THE DEAD---3 1/2---The sequal to NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD isn't quite as good,but it's close. Two army guys,a reporter and his girlfriend all try to escape from man-eating zombies. They discover america is littered with them. They end up at the mall,batteling the zombies as thew go. George Romero is a genius when it comes to horror films. He really is the man. CAST: David Emge,Ken Foree,Scott Reiniger,Tom Savini. DIRECTOR:George A. Romero

DEAD ALIVE--- 3--- Yee Haw!!! This film is so over-the-top bloody that it has to kick ass! It's strange, it's gory, it's funny as hell....it has to be DEAD ALIVE! As you can guess, dead people come alive in this film, which is a cross from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, THE EVIL DEAD, and RABID GRANNIES(Check out that last one.). This guy's mom is bitten by a monkey-rat(That's right, a monkey-rat.) and starts eating human flesh. Well soon the guy's house is overrun by flesh eating zombies and his mother turns into a giant creature with huge rubber boobs and assets.(She then opens her stomach and stuffs him into it. Woo Hooo!!) The film was voted "Bloodiest film ever" or something to that nature. It would be terrible, if not for the black comedy and over-the-top stuff. DIRECTOR: Peter Jackson. CAST: Timothy Balme, Diana Penalver, Elizabeth Moody. DEADTIME STORIES---1 1/2---This is an anthology film that has a guy telling his frightened nephew twisted versions of fairy tales. The first has to do with witches trying to bring thier dead sister back to life. I have no idea which fairy tale this is based on,but if anyone figures it out,let me know. The second is a take on little red riding hood,and has nudity and gore in it. A woman tries to get her grandma her medicine(After having sex,but keep in mind that a guy is telling these to his nephew)and getting stalked by a werewolf. The third is a take on goldilocks and the three bears. A family escapes from an insane asylum and return to thier home and find another psychotic person with psychic powers,who has killed all kinds of horny males. CAST:Scott Valentine. DIRECTOR:Jeffery S.Delman.

DEMON WIND---2 1/2--- Okay, this film is an okay film. Seriously. This guy goes to his family farm and takes his friends into the house beacuse he "has a feeling". Well, once inside, they find they can't leave and all get killed by demons(which takes the forms of small children and dead people). Eventually they use this family book of spells to turn the hero into a goofy looking creature so he can fight the king of the demons. Sigh. DIRECTOR: Charles Philip Moore. CAST: Eric larson, Francine Lapensee, Bobby Johnson.

DEMONIC TOYS---1---Whoa boy. You of course know that a movie about toys that all kill people while being controlled by a demon who looks like a kid,you know it's gonna be bad. That's just what happens in this movie about a cop who fights it out with a group of demonic toys who are under the influence of a child demon. Other characters in this film include a chicken delievery boy and a girl who is in the film only long enough to tell the heros what's going on. Yep. Cast: Tracy Scoggins,Bentley Mittchem. Director:Peter Manoogian.

DEMONS---1---Italian film about people who go to an advance screening of a horror movie and get attacked by blood thirsty demons. The plot is a little off,and some of the stuff said in the film("Hey,it's nostradomus's tomb!")is really stupid. It's gory and predictable. The only thing cool is the make-up effects. Fans of cool facial effects may like this one. Cast: Urbano Barberini. Director: Lamberto Bava.

DEMONS 2---1---If you saw the first demons,you don't need to see this one. it's pretty much the same thing,except for the setting. This time demons kill people in an apartment building. More blood and gore,and cool facial make-up. Cast: David Knight,Nancy Brilli. Director: Lamberto Bava.

DEVONSVILLE TERROR,THE---2---A decent film about witches in a small town. The plot is this: A long time ago,three witches were killed. One of them puts a curse on the town. Then in the present, the curse begins to affect people. More women are accused of witchcraft,and fun begins. Cast: Paul Wilson, Suzanna Love,Donald Pleasence. Director: Ulli Lommel.

DR.GIGGLES---1---Chock full of bad puns,this movie is about a mental patient, who thinks he's a doctor, returns to the town where his dad was linched by a mob. he then goes on to kill innocents. A girl with heart problems is his next target,and he plans to do what his father had failed at doing: A heart transplant. Cast: Larry Drake,Holly Mancombs,Glenn Quinn,Cliff De Young,Richard Bedford. Director: Manny Cotto.

DOLLS---3---I really liked this movie about six strangers who take shelter at the home of an old couple. They are one by one attcked by the many dolls that the old man has made over the years. it has a moral message to it,and the acting is good and there are some likable characters. There are some flesh crawling moments as well. Cast:Stephen Lee,Guy Rolfe,Hilary Mason. Director: Stuart Gordon.

DON'T GO IN THE WOODS---Less than 1--- Really bad movie about a wild man killing campers in the woods. Ignore. Director: James Bryan. AVOID!

DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD,THE---2---This is an interesting who dunnit tale about a killer killing college kids who are cleaning out a dormatory for renovation. The film keeps you guessing. Cast: Pamela Holland,Stephen Sachs. Director: Jeffery Obrow,Stephen Carpenter(Two directors!)

EVIL,THE---2 1/2---A psychologist and some of his colleuges and students try to fix up an old house for the psychologist and his wife can live there. Unfourtunetly,the house is possessed by the devil(Who acctualy shows up! Victor Buono plays the prince of darkness in this one.). So you canimagine that they really begin to feel like they should have stayed home. CAST: Richard Crenna,Joanna Pettet,Andrew Prine,Cassie Yates,Victor Buono,Mary Louise Weller. DIRECTOR: Gus Trikonas.

EVIL DEAD,THE----5--- This is strictly a matter of opinion,but I think this movie kicks ass! And there are legions of fans that agree with me(If you don't believe me,search the net for this film,and you'll find tons of sites to look at). Low-buget special effects are the name of the game here. But the low-budget makes it seem more impresive. In this film we are introduced to Ash and his pals as they go to a cabin the mountains for a weekend of partying. Well they accidently wake up demons that come and possess them one-by-one. Then there is alot of bloody carnage,since the only way to stop the demons is FULL BODY DISMEMBERMENT! That's right folks,the only way to stop these demons is to chop them into tiny little bits. Cool,huh? Stephen King called it "A fiercely original film" Definetly worth a look. CAST:Bruc Campbell,Ellem Sandweiss Director:Sam Raimi

EVIL DEAD,THE2---5--- This film is pretty much the same movie as the original,but ti still rules. It leaves off where the first one left off,Ash trying to escape the evil cabin in the mountains. Ash finds he can't leave,and he is forced once again to face the demons. This time the daughter of the archeologist that had once stayed in the cabin comes calling with her boyfriend,and gets help froma redneck and his woman(Maybe his cousin. Who knows?). Once they get to the cabin,they wish they hadn't. But the cool stuff is the new humo added to it. Deer heads and lamps laugh at him,his hand tries to kill him,and his girlfriend's headless body tries to kill him. Cool,huh? Hope I haven't given too much away already. But check this one out! Also check out ARMY OF DARKNESS,too,beacuse it brings the trilogy to the end. CAST: Bruce Campbell,Sarah Barry. Director:Sam Raimi.

EXORCIST,THE---4--- The only thing keeping this film away from a five is the abundance of slow boring parts. But the parts where cool stuff happens are cool enough for the film to kick butt. A young girl is possesed by the devil,and a priest tries to expell the ole prince of darkness. There is tons of profanity and stuff while the little girl freaks out mom and stuff. She also pees on the floor. Just thought you'd want to know that this isn't for the kiddies. CAST:Ellen Burstyn,Max Von Sydow,Linda Blair,Jason Miller,Lee J.Cobb. Director: William Friedkin

EXORCIST 2:THE HERETIC----1---- Bad acting and an even worse script really make this film a piece of crap. Linda Blair again plays her character from the first film,but this time the girl is having bad memories about what happened. Sounds bad,huh? CAST: Richard Burton,Linda Blair,Louise Fletcher,James Earl Jones,Max Von Sydow. DIRECTOR:John Boorman(appropriate,huh? Get it? John BOREman?)

FEAR,THE---1--- this is a pretty bad film that has a group of people going to a fear retreat,and getting assaulted by a wooden manequin. For no apparent reason. There is also a crappy sub-plot about a rapist. Stupid. Avoid it. CAST: Eddie Bowz,Ann Turkel, Leland Hayward,Darin Heames,Vince Edwards,Anna Karin,Wes Craven. DIRECTOR: Vincent Robert.

FINAL EXAM---1--- Just your standard slasher. A madman slaughters college kids on a campus. Really pretty stupid. CAST: Joel S.Rice. DIRECTOR:Jimmy Huston.

FLY,THE---2 1/2--- This is a pretty good film with Jeff Goldblum playing a scientist who has made a break-through on a teleportation device. He brings a reporter(Geena Davis) to show his machine off. Antway,they fall in love. Well Jeff gets plastered and tries to go through himself. Well,a housefly gets into the machine with him,and the two beings get thier genes spliced. Jeff slowly turns into a fly,and things get bad. CAST:Jeff Goldblum,Genna Davis,John Getz. DIRECTOR: David Cronberg.

FLY 2,THE---This sequal has the son of the original fly turning into a fly himself. he falls in love with a chick,making things a heckuva lot harder for the guy. CAST: Eric Stlotz,Daphne Zuniga,Lee Richardson,John Getz. DIRECTOR:Chris Walas.



FREDDY'S DEAD:THE FINAL NIGHTMARE---2---This is supposed to be Freddy's fianl romp,but I doubt it. This time a new batch of teens get nailed,only this time they're lead by the 'ole dream murderer's daughter. It's not a really bad film,but it isn't great either. The special effects are pretty good,though. CAST: Robert Englund,Lisa Zane,Yaphet Kotto. Director: Rachel Talalay.

FRIDAY THE 13TH---3---This is the very first slasher film. A group of teens get slaughtered by a maniac. It was cool here,while the idea was still new. But this one is pretty good,and there's alot of blood. Worth a look. Anyone who wants to be a major horror fan should rent this one. CAST: Betsy Palmer,Adrienne King, Harry Crosby, Kevin Bacon. DIRECTOR: Sean S.Cunningham.

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2---2---Jason makes his first appearence in this film. But there's no hockey mask. He has a bag over his head. A group of teens are all killed off by a killer at a camp that is on the other side of camp crystal lake. Jason kills them all one-by-one. The idea sadly begins to get old. CAST:Amy Steel,John Furey,Adrienne King,Betsy Palmer.DIRECTOR:Steve Minor.

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3---2--- Jason fianlly gets the famous hockey mask in this one. Jason once again returns to kill off teenagers. Yawn. CAST:Dana Kimmel,Paul Kratka. DIRECTOR: Steve Minor.

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 4: THE FINAL CHAPTER---3---Tom Savini returned to this one beacuse he had the chance to kill Jason. And Jason does die. They promised that this was to be the last time Jason was going to come around and kill everyone,but now we know better. CAST: Kimberley Beck,Corey Feldman,Peter Barton,Joan Freeman. DIRECTOR: Joseph Zito.

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 5: A NEW BEGINING---1---This film is so bad it makes me nauseous to even think of it. The young guy in the fourth film returns,now insane. That is cool. But the rest of the film is really stupid. CAST:John Shepard,Melanie Kinnaman,Richard Young. DIRECTOR:Danny Steinman.

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 6:JASON LIVES---2 1/2---Tommy comes to make sure Jason is dead,but brings him back again by accident(oops). Then he has to try and take him down. Then Jason kills a new grouop of teens,as well as cops. It's better than many other entry;s in the series. There was also little bits of humor in this one. CAST:Thom Mathews,Jennifer Cook. DIRECTOR:Tom Mcloughin.

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 7:THE NEW BLOOD---2---A girl with telekinetic powers returns to the place where she accidently killed her father(oops),which happens to be crystal lake. She accidently brings Jason back(oops again. This girl is really stupid or really accident prone) and he kills everyone. The best part of the film is when the girl and Jason battle it out. Worth a look. CAST: Lar Park Lincoln,Terry Kiser. DIRECTOR:John Carl Bucheler

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 8---2---Jason kills kids on thier senior class trip. Then he goes to manhattan and kills more people. Again. CAST: Jensen Daggert,Scott Reeves, Peter Mark Richman. DIRECTOR: Rob Hedden.

FRIGHTMARE---1---An old horror film star bites the dust. Okay. Then a group of teens decide to steal the body("Hey guys,let's go dig that guy up just for laughs!") and screw areound with it. They take the body after breaking into the funeral home. They then take the body to the old guys house. They party. The girls dance with the old dead guy,then they lock the body in a trunk in the attic. Thena psychic uses her powers to find the body,and she wakes up the corpse,and the old guy goes and kills the teens one by one. Interesting,huh? CAST:Luca Bercovici,Jennifer Starret,Nita Talbot. DIRECTOR: Norman Thaddeus Vane.

FUNHOUSE,THE---2--It seems to me that alot of the films that begin with f have some teen doing something stupid,killing all kinds of people. It happens again in this one. Four teens decide to sleep in a funhouse at this really bad carnival. One of the guys takes someone's money,and the guy and his mutant son go after them,determined to get thier cash back and kill the kids who took it. It's not too bad. It's one of those novice films that doesn't have alot of blood. New fans that aren't desenitixed yet may want to rent this. CAST:Elizabeth Beridge,Cooper Huckabee,Miles Chapin,Largo Woodruff,Sylvia Miles. DIRECTOR:Tobe Hooper.

G

GATE,THE---3---This isn't a scary movie. So if you're looking for a scare,don't rent it. But if you want a well-made film with good special effects,rent it. it has two kids play a record that tells you how to open the gate to another world. The kids,along with one fo the kids sister,who happens to get caught up in it,open the gate,and at first nothing happens. But then all sorts of demons show up,and wreak havoc. The kids all try to fend off the demons and save thier home. It is worth a look for fans of good special effects and of films that aren't scary,but are still good. Novices may enjoy it more than hard-core horror fans. CAST:Stephen Dorff,Louis Tripp. DIRECTOR: Tibor Takacas.

GATE 2---2 1/2--- Not nearly as good as it's predecessor,but it's still good. The film has one fo the boys from the original deciding that he can do the whole gate thing again,but this time he will control it. He trys,but looses his nerve. But some other kids screw stuff up and summon the demons. This time the teens find out that they can use a little creatures to get thier wishes granted. But they soon are all caught up in a battle with demons. CAST:Louis Tripp,Simon Renyolds,James Villemaire,Pamela Segall. DIRECTOR:Tibor Takacs.

GHOULIES---1---The first of a four part series about little demons starts here. It has a group of little demons getting summoned by magic and killing people. It's old by the first reel.CAST:Peter Liapis,Lisa Pelikan,John Nance. DIRECTOR:Luca Bercovici.

GHOULIES 2---1---Another bad film about little deomns killing people. This time the little monsters take residence in a carnival house of horrors. They kill people and the audience thinks it pretty cool. But the young owner of the ride decides to destroy the monsters. CAST:Damon Martain,Royal Dano. DIRECTOR:Albert Band.

GHOULIES 3---1---The ghoulies go to college! The worst thing about this one is all that humor that the person saying it thinks is funny,but the audience thinks it's the stupidest thing they have ever heard. I think it was made more of a comedy than a horror film. The ghoulies get onto a college campus durign prank week. They kill people. What did you actually think you were going to do? CAST:Kevin Mccarthy,Evan Mackenzie DIRECTOR:John Carl Buechler.

GUARDIAN,THE---1---A couple from L.A hire a nanny for thier child. Then they discover that she worships a tree and has control over wolves and stuff. You think you'd notice something like that. I know that if a woman ever takes a job watching over my kid,I'd keep a pretty close look on her. I mean there's this,The hand that rocks the cradle....I mean,all nanny's are either evil bitch goddesses or are annoying chicks from brooklyn that when they laugh you want to shove an ice pick into them. I'm never hiring a nanny. CAST:Jenny Seagrove,Dwier Brown. DIRECTOR:William Friedkin.

H

HALLOWEEN---4--- This is probably the best slasher film ever made. It has a maniac escaping his mental ward and returning to the town where he killed his sister,followed by his doctor(played by Donald Pleasence). The film is great,and it serves as the basis for many other films,including the film SCREAM. Also for those of you who have seen scream,a man gets killed after smoking,having sex and saying "I'll be right back." Interesting,huh? The film focuses on suspense and atmosphere rather than blood and guts.CAST:Jamie Lee Curtis,Donald Pleasence,Nancy Loomis,P.J. Soles,Charles Cyphers. DIRECTOR:John Carpenter.

HALLOWEEN 2---3---This takes place directly after the first film,with Jamie Lee Curtis being stalked by Micheal Myers,the evil maniac who killed his sister. Donald Pleasence also returns as Micheal's doctor,trying to stop the escaped mental patient.CAST:Jamie Lee Curtis,Donald Pleasence,Charles Cypher,Jefferey Kramer,Lance Guest. DIRECTOR:Rick Rosenthal.

HALLOWEEN 3---2---A mask manafacturer creates masks that burn off kids faces when a special commercial airs. A woman hires a guy to help her find her father,and then he stumbles onto the evil plot. it has nothing to do with the other films in the series,and it pretty much is a bad film. Really not worth it. CAST:Tom Atkins,Stacey Nelkin,Dan O'herilhy. DIRECTOR:Tommy Lee Wallace.

HALLOWEEN 4:THE RETURN OF MICHEAL MYERS---3---Micheal Myers once again returns to haddonfield,and donald pleasence once again comes back to stop him. Once again the focus of the film is suspense and atmosphere,and not blood and guts. This time Micheal is after his young niece.CAST:Donald Pleasence,Ellie Cornell,Danielle Harris. DIRECTOR:Dwight H. Little.

HALLOWEEN 5:THE REVENGE OF MICHEAL MYERS---2 1/2---Micheal Myers once again goes after his niece,and Donald Pleasence goes after him. It gets kinda old this time and it also gets really gorey. That isn't very good. CAST:Donald Pleasence,Ellie Cornell,Danielle Harris,Beau Starr. DIRECTOR:Dominique Othenin-Girard.

HALLOWEEN 6:THE CURSE OF MICHEAL MYERS---3---This one gets a little better. A brand new thing begins as they explain exactly why Micheal is so evil. Also there's a really big druid thing happening,and it adds alot of interesting characters. Donald Pleasence again starred in this one,but it's his last film. He died soon after,and the film is dedicated to him. Micheal goes after his niece,but not the same niece as in 4 and 5. it's that niece's daughter. So Uncle Micheal wants to nail her,too. CAST:Donald Pleasence is the only guy I know from this. I don't know the rest of the cast. I also don't know who directed it.

HAND,THE---1---Micheal Caine loses his hand in a bad accident(He waves a truck to pass them and his hand gets taken off(apparently the guy wasn't fast enough to get his friggin hand back in the window.). Then the hand comes back to life and kills people in a series of strangulations. It's pretty stupid. CAST:Micheal Caine,Andrea Marcovicci,Annie Mcenroe,Bruce Mcgill. DIRECTOR:Oliver Stone.

HARD ROCK ZOMBIES---2---A rock bad gets killed and gets brought back to life by one of thier songs. Then the whole friggin town gets turned into zombies,and the nazi's have a role to play in all of it. It's really stupid and funny,but it's still pretty good. It's a good film to watch if you're looking for a laugh. CAST:E.J Curico,Sam Mann. DIRECTOR:Krishna Shah.

HELL NIGHT---2---Linda Blair stars in this film about teens who stay the night in a haunted house to get into sorroitys and fraternity's. The only thing is the house is "Haunted" by a strange mutant killer. It's pretty good for a slasher. CAST:Linda Blair,Vincent Van Patten,Peter Barton,Jenny Neuman.DIRECTOR:Tom Desimone

HELLBOUND:HELLRAISER 2---2--- This film has a girl who is excelent at puzzles releases the cynobites from the first film. The heroine from the first film is tossed into hell with the girl and a mad doctor and the heroines' bitch of a step-mother try to get the power of hell on thier side. There are people that have no skin in this one. Cool,huh? CAST:Clare Higgins,Asheley Laurence,Kenneth Cranham. DIRECTOR:Tony Randel.

HELLO,MARY LOU:PROM NIGHT 2---1---A murdered prom queen returns to get revenge on her killer. Don't get the wrong idea,the girl deserved it,and she kills all kind of people for no reason. It's really pretty dumb,and there are scenes of lesbianism,too. Don't ask me why. CAST:Lisa Schrage,Wendy Lyon,Micheal Ironside. DIRECTOR:Bruce Pittman.

HELLRAISER---2--- A guy buys a demonic cube that opens the gate to hell,and he releases some really nasty guys called cynobites(Led by the infamous Pinhead.). The guy is killed(sorta) but then he comes back with no skin. In order to get his skin back he has to get his brother's wife to help him get men to kill. Then the woman's daughter in law gets involved and trys to stop him. The film was based on a short story by Clive Barker,and he also directs it. But even the author can't get his story's to work on film. CAST:Andrew Robinson,Clare Higgins,Asheley Lawrence. DIRECTOR:Clive Barker.

HELLRAISER 3:HELL ON EARTH--- 2 1/2---Pinhead returns to earth and kills more people. He also makes all kind of cool new cynobites out of his victims(like a D.J who fires CD's from his head,and a fire-breathing bartender). This time a T.V reporter gets involved in the whole thing by helping a young woman who's friend was killed. CAST:Terry Farrell,Doug Bradley,Paula Marshall,Kevin Bernhardt,Asheley lawrence. DIRECTOR:Anthony Hickox.

HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL---3---Vincent Prince invites a group of people to spend the night in his supposedly haunted mansion for a million dollars. Then they all experience hauntings and weird goings on. It's a pretty creepy film that is funny at times and pretty creepy at other times. CAST:Vincent Price,Carol Ohmart,Richard Long,Elsisha Cook Jr.,Carolyn Craig,Alan Marshall. DIRECTOR:William Castle.

HOWLING,THE---4---Probably the best werewolf movie ever made about a couple who goes away for a therapy weekend at a woodland community. They soon discover the place is crawling with werewolves. It's actually pretty good. I say check it out. CAST:Dee Wallace,Christopher Stone,Patrick Macnee,Dennis Dugan,Slim Pickens,John Carradine. DIRECTOR:Joe Dante.

HOWLING,THE 2:YOUR SISTER IS WEREWOLF---1--- A werewolf hunter and a couple try to defeat a female werewolf and her minions. Really sucks. CAST:Christopher Lee,Reb Brown,Annie Mcenroe,Sybil Danning. DIRECTOR:Philippe Mora.

HOWLING,THE 3---2---A pretty cheesy film about australian werewolves and thier relationships with man. It's really pretty bad. CAST:Barry Otto. DIRECTOR:Philippe Mora.

HOWLING,THE 5:THE REBIRTH---3 1/2---This is a really good movie about a group of people who get invited to a castle for a weekend. Then everyone tries to figure out which one of them is a werewolf. The count tries to figure out which one of them it is,but he's not above suspicion. The great mystery-like fashion of the film was great and I really love this film. CAST: Philip Davis. DIRECTOR:Neal Sundstrom.

HOWLING 7:NEW MOON---2---A pretty funny unauthorised entry in the long-running werewolf series. An australian stranger arives in a small town. At the same time an inspector also arrives in the town,and he and a priest try to discover who is the werewolf. Those who saw the fifth installment of the series will understand this alot more since it has alot to do with it. Murders begin to happen,and the town begins to suspect the stranger. But who really is the werewolf? CAST:John Ramsden,Ernest Kether,Clive Turner,John Huff. DIRECTOR:Clive Turner.

HUMONGOUS---1---A group of people on boating trip crash land on an island inhabited by a pack of dogs and a mutant boy who kills them one-by-one. This was so bad th at I never saw the end of it. I fell asleep. CAST:Janet Julian,David Wallace. DIRECTOR:Paul Lynch(He should have been lynched. Get it? Lynch? Awwww,forget it.)

I

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER---4--- Well,this is probably one of the best horror films I've seen.(I've added it to the top ten list,replacing "SCREAM" I know some of you will have a problem with that,but go see I know what you did last summer and you'll agree with me) This film was written by the exact same guy who did Scream, and I'm very happy that it was better than Scream. I know that scream is considered by many of you to be the best horror film, but it really isn't. Take it from me. But Jeniffer Love Hewitt follows her "Party of five" co-star Neve Campbell's lead and stars in a horror film. And she does a better job than Neve Campbell ever did. She plays one of four friends who hit a guy on the road on the fourth of july. They dump the poor bastards body into the ocean, but they all come back the year after, and find themselves stalked by a hook-handed killer. I saw it in the theater(In fact,I wrote this review as soon as I got home from seeing the film) and there were people in the audience that screamed. That's more than I can say for Scream. The ending is a welcome change of the norm(It doesn't end up the way you'd expect). This film isn't a spoof of horror films like scream, so there isn't any comic relief. There's alot of tension, and I wouldn't reccommend it to the squeamish. CAST:Jennifer Love Hewitt,Sarah Michelle Gellar(Yes,that's Buffy). I'm not sure who the rest of the cast is, but they're all good. DIRECTOR:I wish I could remember who it was. He did a great job of bringing tension and suspense to the film. GO SEE THIS FILM NOW!!!!!!!!

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE---1. Less than 1,actually.---A woman is raped(in every part of her body.)by a group of men(One of them is retarded,no less.). You get the picture yet? It's disgusting. She then gets mad and kills them all. Interesting,huh? The film was rated x,but you'll most likely find the useless R rated version. Well,come to think of it,the x rated version is useless,too. CAST:Camille Keaton. DIRECTOR:Meir Zarchi.

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE---4---A vampire(Brad Pitt,in one of his best roles,his best being Seven)goes to a reporter(Christian Slater) to tell the story of how he became a vampire,and was taught by a strange blood-sucker(Tom Cruise,in one of his best roles) and how he made a child vampire out of Chirstin Duntz in her first role. It's based after Anne Rice's best selling novel. There isn't all that much bloo and guts,but there is full frontal nudity. The acting is excellent and the film is dead on to the novel. CAST:Tom Cruise,Brad Pitt,Antonio Banderas,Stephen Rea,Christian Slater,Kirsten Duntz. DIRECTOR:Neil Jordan.

IT---4---One of the best Stephen King adaptions ever made,this one has it all:Great acting,excellent suspense and a creepy villan. The film is a dissapointment to those who are fans of the book,though. Tim Curry plays a demonic clown that slaughters children and resides in the sewers. A group of kids try to stop the evil,and win at least temporarily. Years later they all return to face the evil again. The story loses much once it's put onto film. It's missing some of the explanation that is in the novel,and missing some crucial scenes that were in the book. I say watch this first. Don't read the book before the movie or you will be dissapointed. But it is good,nonetheless. CAST:Harry Anderson,Dennis Christopher,Richard Masur,Annette O'Toole,Tim Reid,John Ritter,Richard Thomas,Tim Curry and Jonathon Brandis. DIRECTOR:Tommy Lee Wallace.

J

JASON GOES TO HELL:THE FINAL FRIDAY---3---Here it is,the suposedly last film featuring the killer from camp crystal lake,Jason. But remember what they said witht he fourth installment? Anyways.....Jason comes back for another killing spree,but first he's blown to little bits. Then he begins to possess bodies and continue the killing. There is a new explanation to Jason's evil and a brand new spin on the Jason Voorhees legend. CAST:John D.Lemay,Kari Keegan,Kane Hodder,Steven Williams,Steven Culp,Erin Gray,Allison Smith,Kipp Marcus. DIRECTOR:Adam Marcus.

JAWS---4---Peter Bencheley's novel about a huge great white shark that terrorises a small town in new england. Roy Sheider stars as the sheriff of the town who tries to kill it. There's great music,and it is a Stephen Speilberg film,so it's pretty scary. CAST:Roy Schieder,Robert Shaw,Richard Dreyfuss,Lorraine Gary,Murray Hamilton. DIRECTOR:Steven Speilberg.

JAWS 2---3---The shark returns to wreak havoc in the small town of amity again and Roy Schieder is there again to try and stop it. He tries to tell everyone about it,but his wife and friends think he's crazy. But then the bodies start popping up again. CAST:Roy Schieder,Lorraine Gary,Murray Hamilton,Jefferey Kramer. DIRECTOR:Jeanott Szwarc.

JAWS 3---2---Boy these all films get worse every time. This time Jaws gets his gigantic ass into SEA WORLD! "Hey Mom,look at that!" Well Jaws is there,killing everyone and everything he can. It's a pretty stupid film,but it's not too bad. Wait until the last Jaws film. Now that's bad. CAST:Lou Gosset Jr.,Dennis Quaid,Bess Armstrong,Simon Maccorkindale and Lea Thomson in one of her earliest roles. DIRECTOR:Joe Alves.

JAWS:THE REVENGE---1---Here it is,the absouloute worst sea monster film ever made. Jaws once again rears his ugly head and this time the wife of the sheriff played by Rob Schieder in the first two films comes to destroy it,after hiring a team of experts to help. Well,Jaws doesn't take that very well. Who would? I'd be pretty damed mad if some old coot hired a team of losers to kill me. Jeez. Some people today. CAST:Lorraine Gary,Lance Guest,Micheal Caine,Mario Van Peebles,Karen Young. DIRECTOR:Joeseph Sargent.

K

KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE---3---This is a funny horror film that isn't meant to be taken seriously. It has Klowns from outer space arriving on earth and killing everyone in sight. It's really funny on how the klowns use typical clown like behavior in a lethal way. This one is really rare,so if you can find it in a video store near you,you're a lucky guy or gal. Rent it. CAST:Grant Cramer,Suzanne Snyder,John Allen Nelson,Royal Dano,John Vernon. DIRECTOR:Stephen Chiodo.

L

LEPRECHAUN---1---Warwick Davis plays a foul mouthed sex-driven Leprechaun who wants his gold back,which was stolen by some irish drunk. A girl(Played by Jeniffer Aniston. This was long before friends or that movie Picture Perfect.) moves out into the country with her dad and ends up hanging with three painters and then they all get caught up fighting it out with the little guy. He only wants his gold. If that guy came to my door and started biting me I'd just give him his friggin gold. Wouldn't you? CAST:Jennifer Aniston,Warwick Davis,Ken Olandt,Mark Holton. DIRECTOR:Mark Jones.

LEPRECHAUN 2---1---The Leprechaun tries to get a chick! That's the basis of this sequal. Years in the past the leprechaun tries to claim a wife,but his slave ruins it for him. Then we flash forward to present day. The leprechaun once again tries for the girl,only the new gals the long lost decendant of the first girl. The girls boyfriend isn't too happy about it either. CAST:Warwick Davis and some other guys I can't remember. DIRECTOR:I do not know,but I will find out soon enough.

LEPRECHAUN 3---1---The Leprechaun goes into Las Vegas to retrive his lost gold coin,which grants wishes to whoever holds it. Some guy falls for the assistent of a magician and gives her a ride into Las Vegas. He sticks around and ends up with the coin in his possession. Then he is bitten by The leprechaun and then the kid slowly turns into a leprechaun himself. CAST:Warwick Davis and some other people. DIRECTOR:See what I said under Leprechaun 2.

LEPRECHAUN 4:IN SPACE---2---This one is a little better beacuse of the funny dialouge. The Leprechaun is on Mars(Don't ask me why he's there or how he got there.) trying to get this interplanetary princess to marry him. These Marines go there and destroy him. But he stows away in one of the guys...uh...reproductive organ and makes it onto the ship. Then he runs around trying to re-claijm his bride and his gold. The marines get into trouble and are forced to combat him. CAST:Warwick Davis and some other people. DIRECTOR:I don't know.

LEVIATHAN---2---Peter Weller leads a group of underwater miners who accidently unleash a killer viris that forms into a big creature that absorbs the mass of those he kills. The cast is led by some big named actors and acctresses including Erinie Hudson from Ghostbusters,Peter Weller,of course,Amanda Pays,Richard Crenna and Daniel Stern. CAST:Peter Weller,Richard Crenna,Amanda Pays, Daniel Stern,Erinie Hudson,Meg Foster,Lisa Eilbacher,Hector Elizondo. DIRECTOR:George Pan Cosmatos.

LOST BOYS,THE---2---A gang of Vampires recruit unwitting youth Jason Patric into thier unholy union. Then Jason's younger brother recruits the frog brothers(One of which was played by Corey Feldman,before he became a has been.) to stop the vampires before they destroy everyone. CAST:Jason Patric,Dianne Weist,Corey Haim,Bernard Hughes,Edward Herrman,Kiefer Sutherland,Jami Gertz,Corey Feldman. DIRECTOR:Joel Schumacher.

M

MANGLER,THE---1---Robert Englund plays an evil old cripple that runs a factory that contains a machine that folds laundry,and people. A cop comes to investigate a series of grisly accidents and ends up teaming up with a young man that is an expert in magic. The man tells him that the machine is possesed by a demon that craves the blood of innocent people. The cop isn't too keen on the idea at first,but eventually he comes through and decides to help the young man expell the demon. The acting isn't all that good,and the cop has a voice that makes you cringe. CAST:Robert Englund,Ted Levine,Daniel Matmore,Jeremy Crutchely. DIRECTOR:Tobe Hopper.

MANIAC COP---1---Bruce campbell is in this useless film about an undead cop that runs around killing people. Bruce plays a cop that is soon accused of the crimes and he and his girlfriend must do battle with the dead man. CAST:Tom Atkins,Bruce Campbell,Richard Roundtree,William Smith,Sheree North. DIRECTOR:William Lustig.

MAN'S BEST FRIEND---2---A reporter let's a dangerous lab dog free from his cage and takes him home. the dog then begins to kill those who gets between him and his new mistress. Lance Henriksen is rather convincing as the scientist that created the dog through genetic engeneering and will go through anything to get the dog back. CAST:Alley Sheedy,Lance Henriksen. CAST:John Lafia.

MARY SHELLY FRANKENSTEIN---2---A pretty stupid film loosley based on Mary Shelley's famous novel. It seems to work just like Bran Stoker's Dracula. It has all kinds of stupid sexual stuff. Robert De Niro plays the horrific monster created by a mad scientist. This time the monster talks and kind of enjoys people being afraid of him. CAST:Robert De Niro,Kenneth Branagh,Tom Hulce,Helena Bonham Carter,Aidan Quinn,Ian Holm,John Cleese. DIRECTOR:Kenneth Branagh.

MAUSOLEM---1---A housewife is possesed by a demon that was released from a mausoleum. She then begins to start killing people. One memorable scene features her breats turning into little monsters eat into her unsuspecting husband. Cool,Huh? CAST:Bobbie Bresee,Marjoe Gortner. DIRECTOR:Jerry Zimmerman,Micheal Franzesse.

MISERY---3---Based on a book by Stephen King,this film is very good. It has a novelist crashing during a snowstorm. He's then rescued by his biggest fan,a large beast of a woman that also happens to be a nurse. She thens begins to nurse him back to health. She also tries to make him write his best work,just for her,beacuse she was upset with his last novel. She then tries to spur him on with an axe and other interesting stuff. CAST:James Caan,Cathy Bates,Richard Farnsworth,Frances Sternhagen,Lauren Bacall. DIRECTOR:Rob Reiner.

MONSTER CLUB,THE---2---A novelist is brought to a club made for monsters by a his biggest fan,a vampire. He then is told many stories about weird stuff. The first tale is about the shadmonk,a beast that whistles, and the second is about a movie director who stops in the wrong town and finds himself batteling it out with a town full of ghouls. Another tale is about vampire hunters. The film is pretty good. CAST:Vincent Price,John Carradine,Donald Pleasence,Stuart Whitman,Britt Ekland,Simon Ward. DIRECTOR:Roy Ward Baker.

MONSTER DOG---1---Alice Cooper and his band go home to his small town and they face starnge murders and a mystery:Who is the Werewolf? Who Cares? That's the question you'll be asking through the whole film. CAST:Alice Cooper,Victoria Vera. DIRECTOR:Clyde Anderson.

MUTANT---1---Two brothers go to a small town and face evil mutants that eat people. One of the brother's fall early and his brother is forced to try to find a way to save the small town. Oh,well. CAST:Bo Hopkins,Wings Hauser,Jennifer Warren,Cary Guffey,Lee Montgomery. DIRECTOR:John "Bud" Cardos.


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NEAR DARK---2 1/2---Okay,I know what you're thinking, another vampire film. But this one is above average for a vampire film. Most vampire films suck, as a rule. But this one doesn't. It has some very fleshed out characters and decent acting. The story is basically this: A girl likes this guy. She also happens to be a vampire. She bites him and turns him into one of the undead himself. Then she tries to get him into the family. It doesn't really work out,though. Never mind the ending,though. But Lance Henriksen is in this, and usually it's rare to see him act so well. CAST:Adrian Pasdar,Jenny Wright, Tim Thomerson,Jenette Goldstein,Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton. DIRECTOR:Kathryn Bigelow.

NEEDFUL THINGS---3---An old man drives into a small maine town called Castle Rock(King fans should recognize this name,since it is one of the towns that King created). He opens a shop that has something for everyone............in exchange for thier soul. So people go in and try to buy stuff they can't afford, so the old man gets them to do stuff for them,turning the town against one another. The carange then ensues. Worth watching for the strong proformances and excellent script. Check it out sometime. CAST:Max Von Sydow,Ed Harris,Bonnie Bedelia,J.T.Walsh,Amanda Plummer. DIRECTOR:Fraser Heston.

NESTING,THE---1---Okay,this is a pretty bad film. It's boring,hard to follow,nearly plotless........the list goes on and on. This film sucks. Don't watch it. A write moves into an old house by herself, and finds it's haunted. CAST:Robin Groves,Christopher Loomis,John Carradine,Gloria Grahme. DIRECTOR:Armand Weston.

NIGHT BREED---2 1/2---Here's another pretty good film by Clive Barker. The monsters and make-up alone make this film watchable, and the thinly disguised sub-plot about rascism and prejudice make this even more engrossing. There's also a subplot about a serial killer,too. But the plot really isn't anything to write home about,nor is the action. But for the record,here's the story: A young man is tormented by dreams about horrific monsters called the night breed, which he then joins. His girlfriend goes after him, and there's also a serial killer on his tail who is trying to make the night breed feared and repulsed by the public(Which, it seems, he didn't even have to do). The film quickly transforms into a war of us vs. them in a final explosive battle. CAST:Craig Sheffer,David Cronenberg,Charles Haid. DIRECTOR:Clive Barker.

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS---3 1/2---This film is one of my personal favorites of all time. It's funny,it's fast-paced and it has decent characters that you either like or hate. Some of the scenes and dialouge are kinda embarassing and sounds like nails on chalkboard,but the rest of it is good. A group of friends go into a supposedly haunted house for halloween and bring back a host of demons. They are one-by-one possesed and killed. I really like this film, and I suggest you try it. CAST:William Gallo,Cathy Podewell. DIRECTOR:Kevin S.Tenny.

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 2---2 1/2---This film isn't as good as it's predocessor,but the special effects are better looking, and the dialouge seems more believable. The same thing happens that happened in the first film, but with a few differences. Angela, the hostess of the party in the first film,comes back to kill her little sister at the prep school she goes to. Her roomates also pay the price,though. Good girls and guys all live while bad people get nailed into the ground. But it's fun. CAST:Bobby Jacoby,Amelia Kinkade,Zoe Trilling,Christi Harris. DIRECTOR:Brian Trenchard smith.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD----4----This is one great film. It's one of my personal favorites, and I've been told by other people that they were frightened out of thier wits. I personaly have been desenitised to all forms of violence and gore, but others who have not have been truly frightened. The film has some great make-up effects and characterization(The characters are wonderfully human and make mistakes). The film also has quite abit of irony, and it also has a hidden message about human nature in there somewhere. Also, this film contains Ben(Tony Todd),who is in my greatest horror heros page thingy. He's a great actor. The rest of the cast isn't half bad either. The film was also directed by make-up master Tom Savini(what a guy!) and was also produced and written by George Romero(Also a living legend). The film is about a group of people fighting off an army of flesh-eating zombies in a farm house in the middle of nowhere. CAST: Tony Todd,Patricia Tallman,Tom Towels,Mckee Anderson,William Butler,Kate Finneran. DIRECTOR:Tom Savini.

NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES---1---*Sigh* I couldn't even watch this whole film. That's how bad it was. it was boring, trite, stupid and unbelivably gory. I did get to see a little boy zombie chew up a full grown man, and a zombie Rat(That's right, a friggin Rat!)chew up a nuclear plant worker. Sounds great,huh? Yuh huh. CAST:Frank Garfield,Margie Newton. DIRECTOR:Vincent Dawn.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET---4---Okay, here it goes. This film is the best in the series about Freddy Krueger(Robert Englund), a former child murdered who was torched to death by a group of P.O.'d parents, killing off all sorts of teens while they sleep(well, he kills them in thier dreams). This is probably also the best film Wes Craven ever did. This one was actually scary to me, since I saw it before I was a major film buff and became desenitized. But anyone who hasn't seen it(which is probably like four people due to the series popularity)should. CAST:Robert Englund,Heather Langenkamp,John Saxon,Ronee Blakely. DIRECTOR:Wes Craven.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2:FREDDY'S REVENGE---1---CRAP! That's the best word to describe this boring piece of trash! Freddy shows up in maybe one scene and the rest of the scenes are about some woose-bag dork that moves into the infamous house that freddy used to take residence in. Freddy decides he needs a new body so he can kill people again(Funny, he didn't need a friggin body in the first film, or any of the other 5 films.). Well after a mass slaughter scene(it's not a very good one,though.)and a couple of random deaths and an exploding bird, the film ends(YAY!). CAST:Mark Patton,Kim Myers,Clu Gulager,Hope Lange,Robert Englund. DIRECTOR:Jack Sholder.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3:THE DREAM WARRIORS---2---A little better than the second film. Nancy(Heather Langenkamp),the heroine of the first film, shows up to help the last offspring of the parents who killed Freddy, before he ices all of them. The kids all happen to be in a phyciatric hospital together(Where Laurence Fishburne plays a guy named Max! Whoo hoo!). Nancy teaches the kids to fight back in thier dreams, and Freddy kills most of them anyway. But the special effects aren't bad, and there's a bit more action since the kids acctually do something besides sit around and get thier heads ripped off. CAST:Robert Englund,Heather Langenkamp,Patricia Arquette,Craig Wasson(Wasson, wassoff, wasson.......ah,forget it.) DIRECTOR: Chuck Russell.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4:THE DREAM MASTER---2 1/2---Notice how they get better? Well the survivors of the third film are all back in normal high school now, and make all sorts of new pals, including young daydreamer Alice(Lisa Wilcox, who later beacame the object of tons of drooling fans affections). Well Freddy comes back after them and thier new found pals, and kills most of 'em. But Alice catches on and becomes the dream master so she can kick Freddy's big old scarred ass. The effects keep getting better with every entry to the series. CAST:Robert Englund,Lisa Wilcox,Tuesday Knight(heheheh,get it? Tuesday Knight, Tuesday night? "hey, I'll see ya tuesday Knight!" He heheheheh........ahhhh,I've had my moment.)DIRECTOR:Renny Harlin.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 5:THE DREAM CHILD---3---Still getting better,ever so slowly. Alice graduates from high school, only to get pregnant. The baby dreams up old Freddy(don't ask me how the kid knows who the hell Freddy is.) and freddy wreaks havoc,using the babies dreams to kill all of alice's pals.(If I ever met a girl who had a history of losing friends that friggin' fast, I'd stay far,far away.)The effects get even better, and there is one or two likeable characters.(There's at least one in every one of the series'.) CAST: Robert Englund,Lisa Wilcox, Danny Hassel(or haskell? It's one of those. I'm not sure which.). DIRECTOR:Stephen Hopkins.

976-EVIL---2 1/2---A loser teenager calls a phone number that contains the word "evil" in it. Who the hell would do that? That's just asking for trouble. But snyway, he slowly becomes possesed by it, and kills some people. Well his buddy tries to help him out. There's a little comedy in it, and the film isn't bad, justa little dumb. It also helps that Robert Englund(yep,that's freddy. It's his directorial debut)directed this. CAST:Jim Metzler,Stephen Geoffreys,Sandy Dennis,Robert Picardo. DIRECTOR:Robert Englund.

O

OMEN,THE---4---This is one helluva movie. It's not perfect,though. A boy dies at birth, but the father,afraid of what the death of the child will do to the mother,takes an orphaned child in it's stead. The child ends up being called Damien, the child of evil that's supposed to become the anti-christ. The kid kills some people, and a priest tries to help the father, who refuses to believe his son is the friggin' devil. The film has good acting, and some eerie moments, and some incredibly graphic violence. CAST:Gregory Peck,lee Remick,Billie Whitelaw,David Warner. DIRECTOR:Richard Donner.

OMEN 4:THE AWAKENING---1---A girl is taken in by a loving couple, and the girl turns out to be pretty nasty. She also turns out to be the devil's spy who's supposed to be aiding the birth of the next devil child. The acting is poor, and it's made-for-tv(which is synonomous with "Bad") CAST:Micheal Lerner,Faye Grant,Micheal Woods. DIRECTOR:Jorge Montesti, Dominique Othenin-girad(say that three times fast.)

OUTING,THE---1 1/2---An ancient Djinn(yeah, sort of like a genie) is awakened by a group of rowdy teens. They kill an old lady while robbing her, and in the process they awaken the djinn. Well the artifact that contains the monster somehow winds up in the possesion of the daughter of a museam curastor. She is possesed by the thing and gets all her pals to stay the night in the museam, where the monster kills them all one by one. It's not overly bad, but it's pretty dumb. CAST: Deborah Winters,James Huston,Danny D. Daniels. DIRECTOR:Tom Daley.

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PARASITE---2--- Gore,gore and more gore!!! This is a futuristic horror film about this parasite that kills you by bursting through your gut or face(these scenes actually happen folks.). At the same time there's a subplot about our hero getting chased by this other guy who has a little gizmo that shoots a cheesy-looking yellow light out of it. This light vaporises people in a cloud of smoke. CAST: Robert Glaudini, Demi Moore(That's right. Miss striptease herself.), Luxca Bercovi, Vivian Blaine, Tom Villard. DIRECTOR: Charles Band.

PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS,THE---2 1/2---Wes Craven's nifty little film actually isn't too bad. But it's been recently slandered by many film critics and things after the success of SCREAM. I still think this and SHOCKER were good Wes Craven films. But anyway this film has a little kid named Fool("I pity the fool! Bad joke. I know) breaking into the home of his landlords to steal money to pay for his mother's operation. He ends up with more than he bargained for when he becomes trapped in thier fortress-like house with a little girl(played by "My so-called life" actress A.J.Langer) and a group of boys that have been held captive under the stairs by the dememnted couple. CAST: Brandon Adams, Everett Mcgill, Wendy Robie, Ving Rahmes, Kelly Jo Minter, A.J. Langer.

PET SEMETARY---3---This film is based on one of Stephen King's better novels(which is said to be the only novel that ever scared Stephen King) where a doctor and his family(complete with an annoying wife that you just want to slap!) move to a small town in Maine(where I'm from). Across the street is Fred Gwynne(herman munster, who recently died) who plays an old guy(what a stretch,huh?) who is the expert on the old pet semetary, where people can bury thier pets and they'll come to life. Well the doc's just itching to try it, and try it he does, with frightening results. CAST: Dale Midkiff, Fred Gwynne,Denise Crosby. DIRECTOR: Mary Lambert.

PET SEMETARY 2---2---Why? Why'd they have to do it? They made a sequel that has little to nothing to do with Stephen King's frightening novel. In fact, this film makes it less frightening. A kid and his dad move to the small town where the kid's mother used to live(she dies in the firts few moments of the film) and ends up using the pet semetary to bring his mom back to life, despite seeing his best friends step dad and dog being turned into ruthless monsters. These kids today. sigh. CAST: Edward Furlong,Anthony Edwrads, Clancy Brown, Jared Rushton, Jason Mcguire.

PHANTASM---3---This film has turned into a cult classic over the years, and I happen to think it's pretty cool. A kid stumbels onto the dastardly plot of the tall man(Angus Scrimm) who turns the dead into little midget monks and makes these little neat balls that have built in hooks and screws that hurt when they stick into your skull. the kid gets the help of his brother Jody and thier buddy, an old ice cream man named Reggie(Reggie Banister). They go up against the tall man and a bloody battle ensues. CAST:Micheal Baldwin,Bill Thornbury, Reggie Banister, Angus Scrimm. Director: Don Coscourelli.

PHANTASM 2---3--- The saga continues. Ten years after the first battle with the tall man, Mikey is released from a mental institution and goes back to living with his buddy Reggie the ice cream man. After Reggie's family is killed by the tall man, the two go on a quest to rid the world of the tall man forever(after making some kick-ass guns like the four-baralled shotgun and a home made flame thrower.). The film has some great special effects, and eventually you begin to like the characters as thier problems become yor problems. CAST: James legross, Reggie Banister, Angus Scrimm. DIRECTOR: Don Coscorelli.

PHANTASM 3---3---The series continues with more violent mayhem. YAY! Okay, the third film takes place right after the second with the hero in the Tall man's hearse and Reggie lying on the ground. Well Reggie saves the hero, only to watch him get captured again(you ask me, Reggie's better off without him). Reggie once again goes to rescue him, this time teaming up with a young boy determined to avenge the deaths of his entire town and a mercenary-like woman(who reggie spends a good amount of precious mayhem film time trying to sleep with her.). They fight zombies and midget monks along the way and the film ends in a way that leaves quite a few questions un answered: and leaves you yearning for a fourth installment. CAST: Reggie Banister, Micheal Baldwin, Angus Scrimm, Gloria Lynn Henry, Kevin Connors. DIRECTOR: Don Coscorelli.

PIECES---1---All right, for once I don't like a film that has largely to do with a chainsaw. I know, I know, it's a first but this time it's largely warranted. Coeds at a college are chopped up by a mysterious chainsaw weilding maniac. I didn't even realize that this film was supposed to be a mystery until the film was resolved. Also, the final scene doesn't make sense. There's a cool scene where a big fat guy fights off five police officers(fight scenes rule, don't they?) but that's the only good thing. CAST: Christopher George, Lynda Day George, Edmund Purdom. DIRECTOR: Juan Piquer Simon.

POLTERGEIST---4 1/2--- Little Carol Ann says there's ghosts in the t.v. and there are. Why the family didn't move out while they could is beyond me. But anyway this film has great special effects and some excellent acting. Tobe Hooper really proves himself with this film, which beats the hell out of some of his other films like THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. Well two parents(Craig T.Nelson and Jobeth Williams) are scared stiff when thier daughter Carol Ann is kidnapped by a group of restless spirits. Then they ask magic munchkin Zelda Rubenstein to clear the house of evil and get thier daughter back. This film is really good and should be checked out. CAST: Craig T.Nelson, Jobeth Williams, Beatric Straight, Domonique Dunne, Heather O'Rouke. DIRECTOR: Tobe Hooper.

POLTERGEIST 2 :THE OTHER SIDE---3---The Freelings have moved to the home of thier grandmother to escape the evil, but the evil follows them. Carol Ann is again the focus of the evil creatures, this time led by Kane(who shows up in creepy form. This guy is a scary looking guy). The family gets tormented and well, everything gets weird. CAST: Jobeth Williams, Craig T.Nelson, Heather O'rourke, Oliver Robinson, Zelda Rubenstein, Will Sampson, Geraldine Fitzgerald. DIRECTOR: Brian Gibson.

POLTERGEIST 3---1---Sigh. There can be such a thing as too much of a good thing. This time Carol Ann has been sent to live with her aunt and uncle(which was a good move on her parents part. I wouldn't want the target of a group of evil spirits hanging around me, either after being attacked by them on two seperate occasions.) Well the film was finished without Heather O'rourke beacuse she died while filming it and there are too many friggin' mirror scenes. Nothing makes sense and you can't even tell what's real and what's not and nothing is explained. Like I said, there can be too much of a good thing. CAST: Tom Skerrit, Nancy Allen, Heather O'rourke, Zelda Rubenstein. DIRECTOR: Gary A. Sherman.

PRISON---1---Prisoners are slaughtered by a vengeful ghost. Bad acting, useless.......uh........everything. Just forget it exsists. CAST: Lane Smith, Chelsea Feild, Andre De Sheilds, Lincoln Killpatrick. DIRECTOR: Renny Harlin.

PUMPKINHEAD---1---Groan. What a piece of dog vomit. An evil monster is resurrected by a pissed off father who wants revenge on the bikers who killed his son in a biking accident. Lance Henriksen is in this one, but even he can't save it. It's a shame beacuse I think Henriksen is pretty cool. I mean he's in the show MILLENIUM and he did a great job in the film ALIENS. CAST: Lance henriksen, Jeff East. DIRECTOR: Stan Winston.






I'm sorry the reviews are not yet finished again sorry.